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I feel LW's vibes, I'm not as intense, but I get it.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

We love to entertain. I know I am weird, but I don’t want help in the kitchen, before or after the meal. My wife and I are very quick-moving and efficient. I worked in restaurants, and I know my way around the kitchen, including as a certified Hobart operator (dishwasher). I completely appreciate people are trying to be helpful, but most folks move slowly and get in the way. I end up helping them help me. The exception is my children, who learned the program from an early age. I, again, appreciate that guests are trying to be kind, and I don’t want to be rude. So, should I just suck it up, take a deep breath, and let them help, or politely usher them on to go enjoy some coffee and chat with others while I gladly jam to some music, prep, and clean up?

—Weird Master of the Kitchen

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Re: I feel LW's vibes, I'm not as intense, but I get it.

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Whew, I just experienced this the other day when my friend was over and was helping me.  She loaded my dishwasher entirely wrong.  I just let her and when she left, I fixed it how I wanted.  Just chill and chat with your guests while they're helping.
    �
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Have a small kitchen and start to speak up that people are in the way.    Or give them the tasks of the next phase.   "Oh could you get the plates out of the china cabinet and grab the coffee cups?"   People may want to help AND they like your company so see if there are opportunities for them to do both. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How many guests are you hosting when some come into the kitchen to help out? If it’s several who all know each other, a firm insistence to go join the party to the wannabe helper should hopefully do the trick.  If it’s a smaller gathering, the guests may just want to be where you are.  I know if I’m a guest and the host starts a big cleanup immediately following the meal, I 100% feel obligated to help out.  It’s one of the big reasons I do the majority of my cleanup after guests leave.  Your guests want to be with you.

    If we’re talking pre-meal, yeah, the guests should stay out of the kitchen, the host is in the zone. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My mom loves to get up to help after dinner.  DH and I joke that we know my mom was over because we found a wet paper towel.   He's also the dishwasher loader and that's his zone. 

    So instead I take to asking people to help to put out dessert, grab other things, etc.

    And I've taken to being really blunt that when FIL stands between stove and sink he's gonna get wet or burned.  Idiot. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2024
    I'm like this. I have a system, I'm very efficient, and I like my things how I like them. H and I have a plan. When he knows I'm ready to start cleaning up, he'll distract people (especially my mom and sister) so I can knock it out. It's been years and I don't think they've noticed. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You guys are telling me that what I need is the interference plan.
    Report Reply
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