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Wedding Woes

If it's working, great. Ignore the 'yelp' reviews.

Dear Prudence, 

A couple years ago, I started doing therapy via a phone app (I won’t name it but I’m sure you can narrow it down) to deal with anxiety and self-esteem struggles that I’d had for a long time but were coming to a head. It felt like the best option for me because I live in a relatively rural area where providers are scarce and my therapist being in a different time zone makes it easier to schedule sessions around my work. It has been great to be able to talk to someone and, while I have good days and bad days, I think it has helped overall.

The problem is that I often see things online maligning the app/service I use. Some of it is about business practices and some is anecdotes of people having bad therapy experiences, but there is a lot of rage and disdain out there. I’ve even seen it from people I know, including a close, long-time friend who called it “nefarious.” This friend isn’t against therapy generally (they’ve been doing it on and off for years), but, like a lot of others, they really seem to hate the company I use. I’d like to be more open about my mental health struggles with people in my life, but I’m afraid I’ll be judged for how I’m doing my therapy. I almost didn’t even send this letter because I’m afraid people are going to think I’m like some PR plant for this company (I’m not, I promise)!

Seeing these criticisms make me feel ashamed of my choice, and seeing them from friends makes me feel like I can never talk to them about it. Am I taking all this too personally? Are there problems with these sorts of companies that I just don’t see since this is my first time in therapy? How, if ever, should I bring it up to people in my life without getting blowback?

—Doing Therapy Wrong

Re: If it's working, great. Ignore the 'yelp' reviews.

  • For $1000 I couldn’t name the app LW is talking about, so I disagree with their first sentence.  But if it’s working for LW, keep using it! It’s always a terrific thing when therapy is helping. 
  • I have heard horror stories about Better Help and I've heard success stories.  Horror stories always get more play.  If LW minds, they don't have to say where they're getting therapy.  I don't remember ever offering up that information.  The only time I can remember people asking is when they wanted a referral and you can be honest at that point if you want.
  • Bad reviews always get more attention.  I feel like therapy is something so private I'd leave it alone. 
  • As others have said, the bad reviews are always the loudest, and I've found that to be especially true of anything health related. I've been nervous after reading awful reviews of medications I've taken, only to have little to no trouble with them. If it's working for you, keep using it. 

    As for being more open, just because you tell people something doesn't mean you're required to tell them everything about that something. You can tell others that you have been struggling with your mental health and getting help for it without being more specific than that. 
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  • You literally do not need to tell anyone you're doing online therapy.  Also, if you do mention it and someone tells you "Oh I heard bad things about Better Help," you can always say, "Yes, I've heard that, but it's not been my experience."  

    Yes, you're taking it too personally. 
  • Better Help has some suuuuper sketch business practices and they don't vet their therapists (Hence why I fired my therapist on there after she told me my brother should "go to Costa Rica and find a shaman" to help cure him). But not all therapists are the same there or in the physical world. If it has worked for you, great. I had a friend start better help and it was really good for her. I simply told her I was happy to hear it had worked out because I had a less than desirable experience myself. 


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  • I think one of the issues with Better Help is that they don't treat their therapists well. It kind of falls into the same trap with people judging people for shopping at Shein or whatever the child slave labor factory du joure is. 

    But yeah, people don't need to know how you get therapy. Plenty of independent therapists also offer virtual sessions, so imply that if you like. 
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