Dear Prudence,
Since my mother-in-law retired to Florida five years ago, I have been saddled with the traditional Thanksgiving gathering because our home has four bedrooms and a large kitchen. My five in-laws and their families all live in much smaller places. Their offers to “help” don’t involve much beyond bringing a pumpkin pie they picked up at the supermarket.
The only exception was “Carissa,” my brother-in-law’s then-girlfriend and now new wife. Carissa is lovely, kind, and helpful. She’s also vegan. But she’s not preachy and was a professional chef. Seriously, her food is usually the first to go at potlucks and she even got my picky toddler nephew to eat tofu and veggies. They recently bought a new house and wanted to host Thanksgiving this year. Everyone was all for it, especially me. Then my brother-in-law said it would be all vegan and cooked by Carissa. So everyone lost their minds. They cried that it was tyranny and forcing an alternative lifestyle down their throats. They said it would ruin Thanksgiving.
I told everyone to stuff it and that if they wanted a traditional Thanksgiving, they should stay home and cook themselves—my husband and I would be enjoying Carissa’s fantastic feast. My husband reluctantly backs me up but everyone else is whining and crying about the “ruined” holiday, especially my mother-in-law. I pointed out that we have had ham, prime rib, and even chicken instead of turkey before on the holiday, and no one cared. Carissa is a much better cook than me and alternating holidays is more than fair. Or everyone could meet up at a restaurant and pay their own way. Carissa and her husband privately thanked me but are worried about causing a family feud. I think they are just full of hot air. If they can go to rival schools and cheer rival football teams, they can eat delicious vegan food once every few years. Call it my line in the sand. What do we do next?