Dear Prudence,
When I was young (we’re talking 7-8 here), my older sibling did something unforgivable. So unforgivable, in fact, that for almost six years after the fact I didn’t remember any of it. Eventually, my memories started coming back, and a lot of gaps filled in, making things make sense, all tracing back to the unforgivable actions. It’s been almost a decade since I started getting memories back, I’m an adult now, and every reminder puts me on the edge of a breakdown.
Here’s the problem: My family doesn’t know. They’ve never known or even suspected. The second problem: They take his word over mine every single time. Over small stuff (who was supposed to buy the Mother’s Day gift) and big stuff (whether I fell and twisted my ankle or whether he pushed me), it’s always his word over mine. I can barely tell my trusted close friends about it, and I cry every time. How do I tell my family in a way where they won’t just ask him, hear denial, and go “well he said he didn’t so you’re a liar!” and dismiss it all? Should I even bother telling them at all, or should I just sit through family gatherings and pretend it’s not a heavy weight sitting on my shoulders?