Pot Luck???

Re: Pot Luck???

• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2

  There is no way to avoid sounding tacky when asking inviting wedding guests to a potluck reception.
  
  However much you want to save money, it is your responsibility to host any wedding guests on your own dime. That is because the purpose of a wedding reception is to thank the wedding guests for their attendance at the ceremony by providing hospitality. It's not appropriate to thank them by asking them to supply their own provisions.

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• maine7mob member

  

  January 2

  These are really two different things. You're either holding a potluck for your friends at your house, or you're hosting a wedding reception. If it's the latter, you really do need to provide the meal yourself. However, I've been to some low budget weddings where friends and family of the couple offered to help with some components of the meal. For example, an aunt made the wedding cake, a sister made pans of lasagna. But these people offered, they were not asked to do it as a condition of attending the reception.
  
  What it sounds like you're asking is: Since we don't need anything and aren't hitting up our guests for gifts, can we hit them up for the meal? And the answer really is no, you shouldn't.

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 2

  Please don’t do this. 

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• banana468 member

  

  January 3

  Please don't do this.  It's an etiquette nightmare to ask guests to bring a dish to pass.   This isn't just 'in lieu of gifts' but it's also in lieu of your hosting.   Your job as hosts is to provide the food and refreshment for the people who traveled to your wedding.
  
  In addition, it makes me nervous just thinking about the ways it can go sideways and guests can become ill.    Food shouldn't be left out for more then 2 hours.  That's it: 2 hours and that's when bacteria grow and you run the risk for foodborne illness that can take out your guest list.   Assuming the food is prepped and ready to eat the moment guests leave to get to your wedding, the clock is ticking on food through the car ride, parking, walk to your ceremony and then the cocktails/reception.   Depending on the time of year that window of time can be shortened due to heat.  Are guests just leaving casseroles under their feet?  In the car?  How would hot food stay hot?
  
  On top of that, it's a massive imposition to ask people who ARE your age - married - with kids, and getting themselves and kids either ready for your wedding or to drop off at sitters and on top of it, you added meal prep and transportation to the task list.   And transport that dish wearing your nice clothing and shoes!
  
  
  I just had this discussion with my husband on a completely separate situation that isn't a wedding but an upcoming potluck dinner for a group our son is in.  The leader made the potluck dinner on a Friday night.   My H is also a leader in the group and I let him know - by doing that he's made it VERY frustrating for every parent who is now tasked with prepping their kids to be in uniform for this event AND now they need to likely take time off from work to have hot food made and ready in time for the event's start time on Friday which is before 6 PM.   DH said "and this is why I'll be volunteering to bring the Costco pizza."   

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