Jack & Jill and Bridal Shower

Re: Jack & Jill and Bridal Shower

• climbingsingle member

  

  January 3

  knottie60538776d5149551 said:

  Hi everyone - seeking advice. 
  I have been dreaming of having a bridal shower since I was little, leading up to the wedding. 
  My fiancé and his family are set on doing a Jack and Jill, after i’ve been mentioning I want a bridal shower. It seems whatever I say, we will be having a Jack and Jill. 
  Is it okay if I was to have a small bridal shower, in addition to this Jack and Jill? 
  My fiancé and I are from different states

  Who is throwing the Jack and Jill? Who’d be throwing you a separate shower? If you have separate people to throw you these showers and different attendees, it could work. But you shouldn’t be doubling up and inviting the same people to both. You could also do a bridal luncheon in addition to the Jack and Jill. 

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• banana468 member

  

  January 3

  climbingsingle said:

  show previous quotes

  knottie60538776d5149551 said:

  Hi everyone - seeking advice. 
  I have been dreaming of having a bridal shower since I was little, leading up to the wedding. 
  My fiancé and his family are set on doing a Jack and Jill, after i’ve been mentioning I want a bridal shower. It seems whatever I say, we will be having a Jack and Jill. 
  Is it okay if I was to have a small bridal shower, in addition to this Jack and Jill? 
  My fiancé and I are from different states

  Who is throwing the Jack and Jill? Who’d be throwing you a separate shower? If you have separate people to throw you these showers and different attendees, it could work. But you shouldn’t be doubling up and inviting the same people to both. You could also do a bridal luncheon in addition to the Jack and Jill. 

  Pretty much this.   Showers are thrown for you and not by you.  Ideally the host/hostess is going to take your desires into consideration and ultimately they can have the discretion to make the event co ed or not.  My hope is that the jack and jill is just a co-ed shower and not the fundraiser type of event although I get it - they abound!
  
  The rule is that the shower/jack and jill guests need to be invited to the wedding and the only overlapping guests should be immediate family and bridal party.  
  
  I had a bridal shower with DH's side and a jack and jill co ed shower on my side.  My bridesmaids, mom, MIL and my grandmother attended both events. 

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• knottie60538776d5149551 member

  

  January 3

  This is super helpful. My fiances family is throwing/hosting the Jack and Jill, while my mother and MOH would be hosting the bridal shower. The way my mom was invisioning it, was my fiances side goes to the jack and jill, while my side is invited to the shower, with very minimal overlap except close family. Unfortunately the fiancé's family wants to do the fundraiser like jack and jill. 
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 3

  knottie60538776d5149551 said:

  This is super helpful. My fiances family is throwing/hosting the Jack and Jill, while my mother and MOH would be hosting the bridal shower. The way my mom was invisioning it, was my fiances side goes to the jack and jill, while my side is invited to the shower, with very minimal overlap except close family. Unfortunately the fiancé's family wants to do the fundraiser like jack and jill. 
  

  This sounds like a good plan, except of course for the fundraiser part. Any hopes in talking them out of it?

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• banana468 member

  

  January 3

  climbingsingle said:

  show previous quotes

  knottie60538776d5149551 said:

  This is super helpful. My fiances family is throwing/hosting the Jack and Jill, while my mother and MOH would be hosting the bridal shower. The way my mom was invisioning it, was my fiances side goes to the jack and jill, while my side is invited to the shower, with very minimal overlap except close family. Unfortunately the fiancé's family wants to do the fundraiser like jack and jill. 
  

  This sounds like a good plan, except of course for the fundraiser part. Any hopes in talking them out of it?

  This.  Is it super common for their group?  It doesn't excuse it but I found that there was an expectation depending on the area which could be at least a situation where the people are used to it.  That said, those seem to be ones for everyone and their brother and that's something I'd be clear with so they know you're not OK with seeing people not invited to the wedding. 

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• knottie60538776d5149551 member

  

  January 3

  No…this is something that is common in their state. My fiancé's sister also had this type of jack and jill.  Where I am from, we don’t “believe” in this…so i don’t even think my family would come. 

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