Wedding Woes

Stop hanging out with her friends

Dear Prudence,

How do I stop the lectures? Whenever I spend time with my daughter or her friends (she’s in her thirties) when she hosts get togethers, I seem to be subjected to lectures on topics ranging from parenting to environmental issues. I find some topics especially loathsome, as I am a recognized expert in the field in which I am being lectured.

I have been surrounded by five of her friends who proceeded to attempt to bully me into agreeing to their uneducated viewpoint. Any gentle reminders that I am a published author of peer-reviewed papers or assertion that their viewpoint does not include validated scientific data degenerates immediately to name-calling.

I love a good discussion or debate; however, these “conversations” usually consist of me standing there listening while they expound ad infinitum. My attempts at input are shutdown. Do I extract myself immediately when they take a breath for air? I’ve used the “oh, look at the time” excuse. I’m not looking for recognition … just a change in topic or more relaxed conversation. It would be so nice to talk about the weather.

Re: Stop hanging out with her friends

  • Have you talked to your daughter? It doesn't pass my smell test that you're consistently invited to gatherings where you're the odd one out and science loses.   
  • This sounds like the dude who invented MRIs saying evolution isn't real.  Yes sir, you are an expert in your particular field and that doesn't make you an expert able to weigh in on anything else.

    I seem to be subjected to lectures on topics ranging from parenting to environmental issues. I find some topics especially loathsome, as I am a recognized expert in the field in which I am being lectured.

    This leaves a lot of open ended questions here.  
  • Do you know who has a PhD in political science and will just smile and nod when most people talk about politics? Yah. 

    But also- you sound insufferable. Do you try and point out the research you read and conduct? Do you approach them with curiosity I.e “oh I’m surprised to hear you say that you think the world is flat- where did you come up with that?” Or do you just resent that they’re talking about it at all in your presence. 
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