Dear Prudence,
My brother, a young 60, talks constantly. I am not exaggerating. I think he has expressed every idea he has ever had. His ex-gf told me he talked himself to sleep (I did not ask, she volunteered). He told me himself that he was twice dragged off stage when he was running for office because they just needed him to stop talking. Aside from annoying me for hours every time he visits, I don’t have a problem with his excessive talking, because I love him.
Now, however, he wants help with his love life. He hasn’t had a long-term relationship his entire adult life. Part of it was when he was in the Army and unavailable, but mostly the problem is just his inability to just shut up for even a few minutes and let someone else talk and to listen to them. I know I sound harsh, but I can’t imagine what it might be like to try to have a relationship with someone who never listens. So, what do I say? How do you tell someone that without changing their entire personality, they may not get the relationship they desire? Or, how do you get them to redirect the desires to something more likely? The problem is, he is lonely, and I feel sorry for him. I personally don’t care if he changes or not, but I do want him to be happy.