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LW is a jerk

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
I am a 62-year-old woman. As an intuitive consultant, I spend all my time on the phone, advising people, which I get paid for. The woman who has been my best friend for 15 years, and we have had wonderful times.Problem is, as she has been in an emotionally abusive marriage, she has been more and more completely self absorbed, She has given up even pretending to be interested in my life- she never asks , and if I volunteer something about my life, she is bored and distracted. Nowadays she is always in crisis, so I feel bad about telling her off. But I am fed up! How to fix this?
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Re: LW is a jerk

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When you're being abused it can be hard to get away.

    She may not be self absorbed - you are likely her only outlet.  Ask her questions!  See if she has places to turn.  And do not weigh emotionally on someone who does not have the capacity to put on her own O2 mask first. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Is she treating OP like an intuitive consultant, or a friend while she's in crisis?

    I don't like OP.  OP feels self-absorbed to me.  "I know you're going through something really terrible, but could we talk about me for a minute.  My intuitive self feels like that might do you some good."
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I dunno, just the words "intuitive consultant" make me feel like you could extrapolate a lot more about LW.


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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't think you're as intuitive as you think you are, LW.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have a little more sympathy for the LW.  It can become taxing on a person's own mental health if they are regularly being subjected to someone else's constant crises.  There needs to be a balance.

    I do think she needs to let it go if her friend is currently self absorbed because it sounds like the friend isn't usually like that.

    But the LW can also start putting some gentle boundaries up.  Like if she herself is having a bad or overwhelming day, let the friend know that and it isn't a good time to talk.  Or if the LW just needs a break, they can use that as an excuse.
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