How often is this actually happening?

Re: How often is this actually happening?

• banana468 member

  

  February 6

  "Oh we wish you wouldn't do that.  When it was brought up before it hurt her feelings."
  
  This is going to be a short lived situation.  Let it be a lesson now it telling strangers kindly to STFU without using those words. 

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• levioosa member

  

  February 6

  I'm also having a hard time thinking a 2 year old would have shame about her hair unless the parents were talking about it or making comments about it often. So either the parents are putting wayyyy too much stock in hair on a toddler, or they are just reading into people's comments and projecting their own internal feelings. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 6

  I also think you're projecting, but put a headband bow thing on her head. Baldy stuff is coded as male. If they register her as a girl, they'll quit. 

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• Casadena member

  

  February 6

  I frankly just don't believe that strangers are asking to rub your kids head and calling her baldy. And if they are not strangers, just f'ing talk to them - you obviously know them. say "oh, that's actually quite rude, please don't touch her". 

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• banana468 member

  

  February 6

  MyNameIsNot said:

  I also think you're projecting, but put a headband bow thing on her head. Baldy stuff is coded as male. If they register her as a girl, they'll quit. 

  We cut Chiquito's hair when he was 2.5 and people commented on our adorable girl's curls. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  February 6

  I'm not surprised strangers will comment on a baby or toddler's hair.  I was really bald until I was about 18 months old.  My mom said strangers always assumed I was a boy and talk about how cute I was, often mentioning my bald head.  Thankfully, by the time I was old enough to understand what people said, I did have enough hair for my mom to put it in baby barrettes or tiny ponytails.
  
  But I've also always had really long hair and have never wanted another style.  I'm very uncomfortable at even the thought of not having long hair.  I sometimes have an "armchair psychologist" moment and wonder if maybe I did understand what people were saying.  That it entered into my subconscious, even though I was too young to have conscious memories of it. 
  
  One of my sister's friends was not so lucky.  Her daughter just naturally didn't have much hair until she was about 3.  Strangers always gave this woman sad, sympathetic smiles because they assumed the little girl had cancer.  And I kid you not, would sometime even ask her mother if she had cancer or was getting chemotherapy.  I don't know why people lose their minds sometimes, but they do.
  
  They also had a few AH friends that would joke with the little girl about her lack of hair.  It was in the vein of cute she was, but still.  It's heartbreaking to see how early these gender stereotypes start.  She was so young, but knew she had less hair than she should and was sensitive about it.

  

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