Should I invite to my wedding my aunts and uncles (my mother's siblings) who my mother hates?

Re: Should I invite to my wedding my aunts and uncles (my mother's siblings) who my mother hates?

• banana468 member

  

  February 12

  knottie262cc7f5b5d169e9 said:

  She hasn’t always hated them. Their relationship has dramatically diminished over the last 10 years. Her siblings are difficult people and were jerks about my brother’s wedding. But I like my cousins and want them there. My mom actually threatened to not come if her siblings are there.

  My fiancé thinks my mom should be the one that's tells her siblings why their kids (my cousins) are invited but they are not. That it is her issue with them and not mine.

  A few additional facts that might be relevant. We are having a destination wedding (so 3 days of opportunities for drama) and my mom is gifting us a lot of money for the wedding.

  What should I do? 

  When you cross post on multiple boards it's great to put XP so people know you posted the same thing in multiple places.
  
  If your mom is threatening not to come and she's gifting you money for the wedding I can't think of a worse way to treat your mom than to put her in the position where she's financing a giant amount of your wedding and then has to face the siblings.  She may very well pull the money but even more so, it's going to do irrevocable damage.
  
  Talk to your mom.  Ask her how she'd want to handle it as a person involved.  And then I'd respect her wishes.  
  
  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 13

  Money comes with a say. Even if your mom is not telling you she will pull her money, accepting her funding much of the wedding means you need to give her some deference. 
  
  In most families, you couldn't invite the cousins without the aunts and uncles, at least not without a huge amount of drama. Maybe talk to your mom about how that would play out, but I don't think you can take her money without letting her make this call. 

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