Dear Prudence,
I’ve been with my husband since we were 16; we’re now 30. Three years ago, he had an affair—he told me he was in love with his coworker and they later had sex. This was immediately followed with him having a mental breakdown of sorts that required my support—I literally found out about the infidelity while talking him down from suicide. We were separated for a while, but then finances meant we had to move back in. In the meantime, his affair partner started a job literally next door to my work and I kept running into her, after she’d previously been cyberstalking me as a result of my husband’s affairs.
I’m trying to make this work as I don’t know anything else and I love my husband. But he seems to barely understand what he did wrong, gets annoyed with me for feeling upset or angry about what he did, and worst of all, claims he can’t remember significant things he said and did during this period. So he can’t tell me what he liked about his mistress or why he said such hurtful things to me at the same time. I’m just stuck—I want us to move forward, but it never seems like he cares enough to, saying it was in the past and I need to move on.