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Wedding Woes

Let them be mad, not your info to share

Dear Prudence,

I am lucky enough that I have a fairly large close-friend group that has known each other since University. Somewhere along the line, I have become the secret keeper, as my friends realized that I gave solid advice but more importantly, I never shared anything they asked me not. I have made it clear to my friends that if they share anything about infidelity or something that concerns me about their wellbeing that I would share it and get help from within or outside of the group

Well, recently two female friends confided in me that they are dating and have been for the past six months. They only just shared the news more widely, and now one friend is acting like I committed the biggest betrayal by not outing the relationship. As far as everyone knew (me included), they were straight. Somehow, she has managed to convince two others that I was wrong not to share this as we are such a close-knit group.

I know it is not my place to say anything, so am I living in the twilight zone that I didn’t share this? It is causing arguments and bad feeling in the group. I feel disgusted by their behavior and want to go nuclear and cut off anyone who wants to associate with them. Is this even worth another conversation to try and salvage the friendships?

Re: Let them be mad, not your info to share

  • Why are the dating couple not taking care of this?  I'd be furious about a friend who didn't out me, getting shit from other people....for not outing me.  I'd go nuclear on the people myself.

    And yeah, I'd go nuclear.  There's a reason queer couples don't just out their news.  OP should be proud that they have curated and become a safe space for their friends.  Friends who don't appreciate that?  Don't need to be friends.  Periodt.
  • So you're upset that I didn't betray their confidence and out them before they were ready so that you could have some hot tea?

    Yeah, I'd go nuclear on that person too. That's not someone you need in your life.
  • Oh fuck that "friend." Two people dating and keeping it on the DL hurt them 0%. They just wanted the drama. 


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  • "you're mad I didn't share information that is none of your business?!?" 
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