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Tuesday

VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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in Wedding Woes
Man, it is cold here and I know it's colder a lot of places.  I'm always so thankful to be in warm shelter, with all things I need at times like this.  It's already snowing, but the "big" snow is supposed to start around noon and ending times are a bit up the air, but most are Wednesday morning.

I'm taking on another caseload at work.  It's okay -- I don't have enough to do to stay busy all day and I'm the only assistant with 2 attorneys, while other staff are struggling with their caseloads.  This rebalances the office, so I'm good with it.  Our bonuses and raises should come through soon, so hopefully this keeps me off the radars I need to and on the radars I need to.

Otherwise, SSDD.  Just working and trying to stay warm.
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Re: Tuesday

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    We've had great weather the last couple weeks.  But temps started dropping Sunday night and we'll be skirting with below freezing temps on Thurs.  Plus it's going to be pouring rain on Wed-Thurs.

    I was looking for my light knit gloves this morning, but couldn't find them anywhere so I wore my bulkier ones.  I was perplexed.  Then I reached into my purse when I got to work and there they were, lol.

    I got called in for a random drug test.  Boo!  Slight worry.  I took two edibles on either Saturday or Sunday of the weekend before.  So at least 7 days.  It might have even been the previous weekend.  From what I've read, it's usually out of your system for a urine test in 3-7 days but the window potential is 30 days.  I also rarely use pot in any way, so I think that also helps.

    It was surprising.  I've worked here for over 10 years and this is only the second time I've been called in.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    It's cold for us here. I enjoy that I can WFH and don't have to get out in it so much, but my dog is not interested in staying inside all day. She requires at least a few miles every day. At least it's not raining yet. 

    Nothing much interesting going on. We're in our annual raise/bonus cycle right now too, which also means setting goals for the year. I'm thinking about a certification this year, but I'm also hesitant to put it as a goal because professional development always goes to the wayside when it gets busy. Corporate life. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Oof, I'm so sorry @short+sassyI would be losing it. Theoretically, if you're not a chronic user it should probably be out of your system in about 7 days (on a urine test). It can stay up to the thirty but hopefully it won't be an issue for you. I don't really use, but when I do have the rare edible I am so paranoid about drug testing I wait until I have a 10-14 day vacation period to indulge because my little anxiety ridden heart could not take that stress. One time I had a drug test after I had done a really intense pre-workout mix (sometimes those come up positive for meth on tests) and I thought I was gonna be sick for days waiting for the result. 

    Weekend was pretty rough for me. Friday I got a message from admin 10 minutes before a meeting that there was a meeting with my immediate manager and her manager above her and I needed to attend. I had patients scheduled and in office, I wasn't told there would be a meeting. So of course my mind jumped to the absolute worst. Turns out it was my annual review. My first one ever, mind you. This is my third year here and no one has ever met with me to go over any sort of a review. My raise was bullshit too. I got a lot of verbal praise, and the comment on my review was nice but even with all of the accolades I only got 4/5 (because God forbid we rate people exceptional in the corporate world), and the raise was awful. And also that just emotionally shot me for the rest of the day. It was also followed by our regular meeting and I had to meet a new super high up and so by the end of the day I was not feeling in the Valentine spirit. I came home and H and I were kind of at odds. 

    The next day we went to my Grandparent's house and spent the weekend there. I am exhausted. Grandma is doing okay but honestly I don't know if Grandpa has much longer. He's bleeding so much, he was okay on Saturday and then on Monday I almost took him to the ER because he was so weak he could barely speak or move. But all of his vitals were stable and I think this is just how it is now. I tried broaching the topic of end of life with him and he just looked at me. I think he's in denial. Not about mortality necessarily, but about the steps between now and the end. It's scary and I understand it, but we have to have some hard conversations about what he wants the end of his life to look like. My uncle will be here this week. My Aunt is supposed to come over but I was trying to talk to her on Saturday about stuff and she just isn't really getting it either. The end isn't coming in 1-2 years, I think the end is coming in weeks. He could totally surprise me, but the decompensation in just the last 1-2 months has been stark. I know my Mom sees it. My Aunt has also been mad at my mom "for letting it get this bad," and "not rescheduling your doctor's appointments." Prior to my Dad's stroke my Mom was living at my Grandparent's almost full time. But she can't take care of 3 adults  and she has to finally take care of her own serious stuff now. I'm peeved at my Aunt too. 

    Anyways, silver lining is H and I decided we needed to do something for us and on Sunday we had a little date night in their downtown. The local dive bar had a band and they weren't perfect but it was an absolute blast and the energy was great. We also got to take Grandma on a really nice walk on Sunday, and she hadn't really been out of the house in weeks so that was nice. She finds so much joy in everything. And she walked a mile uphill! Took us 50 minutes but at 92 that's still pretty impressive. 

    Work today, and then we will see what the week holds. 


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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    I found a listicle that ranked the 20 worst run states in the country.  It based it on things like the poverty rate, housing affordability, crime, income growth, and education (% of adults with HS and college degrees).

    They started at #20, which was West Virginia.  I was surprised it had done that well.  But the further up the list I went, the more concerned I became.  Because you know Louisiana is on that list, but I hadn't seen it yet, lol.  Indeed, we were #1.  Second highest poverty rate.  One of the lowest income growths.  Fourth lowest for adults with a high school education and fourth highest in crime.

    It's sad when even MS beats you!  They were even #5.  New Mexico #2, Alaska #3, Nevada #4.  The Southwest did not do well and AZ was on it also.

    There were some surprises on the list.  The Pacific Northwest (WA and OR).  And Hawaii!  Housing affordability was what really torpedoed them, but they were also lower ranking for poverty and higher education.

    Then there were the usual suspects.  Most southern states, but not GA/NC/VA.

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @levioosa, thanks for the info about THC and drug tests.  I feel more encouraged it will (probably) be fine.

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa!  Your all's Sunday sounds great, especially with being able to take your grandma out into some fresh air.  I'm glad everyone got a much needed break with everything else going on. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    @short+sassy Man, I don't even want to look.  I'm sure MO is up there too.

    @levioosa I'm so sorry.  That's such a hard conversation.  I was incredibly thankful (and wrote a note to him stating so) that the cardiologist who saw my dad was incredibly to the point and rather blunt, and told my father that he needed to decide what he wanted the end of his life to be.  So, though I know it's hard and it seemed to be ignored, good job and necessary.  All the love and support as you go through this.
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    CharmedPam said:
    Freezing here too! Ugh!
    @VarunaTT, hopefully the extra work gets you where you want to be!
    @short+sassy what are the odds of that drug test happening? Also, I love Louisiana, mostly only been to NOLA, which is all I can base it on lol
    @levioosa, I’m so sorry ti hear of Grandpa’s health. This has got to be hard to watch. And also, what a load of crock on your review.

    Mom and Dad came this weekend to check out the ceiling and pipes. No water damage! But I’ll need a new ceiling (knew that). I had a date on Sunday. He was a good guy, we got along well but probably won’t see each other again.  No spark.  I also think I need that first date end of the night kiss.  Is that just me? 
    Something wild happened on Friday. Three of us went to a comedy show because we wanted to do something with our girlies on Vday. There were some late comers to the show and they were slowly being seated ahead of us, so a bit into the 2nd comedian (who honestly wasn’t that funny) shortly after a double date was seated, some girl in the audience started yelling. I thought she was heckling. She jumped up and yelled out “I’m sorry. This here is my husband and he’s with his girlfriend! He told me he had to go to his brother’s basketball game but he was taking me here tomorrow!” She went up to the girl first and yelled in her face. “Get out! Get out!” Then yelled to her husband “get out!” to him too. The mistress did NOT seem shocked that her date was married either. Security came, and told them they had to leave. As they got up the entire room was boo’ing him and yelling at them to get out.  Calling her a “home wrecker!” (Agian, she did not jump up and say “what? You’re married?” So this could be justified). The couple next to them also got up and left (that’s how we knew it was a double date). They all looked fairly young. Mid thirties?
    Security came up to the lady being cheated on and told her she could stay.  
    Thing is - how can you stay after getting proof of that? How can you sit and concentrate on something that’s supposed to make you laugh all night? My mind would be racing.  They (the lady and her friend) left a bit early, 10 minutes before it ended.  And then the comedian (who wasn’t even on stage but saw and heard everything) said “are they gone? Wow! In all my 28 years of doing this. That never happened.  And you guys - you guys were all in it!” (We had her back!) that’s crazy.  What kind of divine intervention was that - that they happened to be seated 2 booths away from her?”
    And it really was. Someone up above wanted her to get her proof, because we were like “why would she go to a show a day before her H was going to take her?” I bet she had her suspicions and saw him purchasing tickets for both nights and just knew? 
    Every day a little bit of me looses faith in men (people really, women do it too I know I know).
    edit to add; @Casadena how was your comedy show Friday night? Lol 
    Wow - that is crazy!!!

    Freezing cold here too.  It didn't get above zero yesterday and we'll sneak up to 3 degrees above today.  Fortunately, it's sunny so that's a plus.  We're supposed to be in the low 40s next week.  Such a roller coaster.

    Work is SSDD.  I'm trying to get my office/crafting space back in order.  I purchased a bunch of stuff at 90% off after Christmas and need to find a place to store it until I work on them (blank ornaments).  

    I have a mani/pedi tonight so that'll be a relaxing time.  I get some time to myself when I get my nails or hair done.  But I never have time to myself at home.  What I wouldn't give for a few hours at home alone.  DH doesn't drive anymore and so, if he goes somewhere, I take him.  He's also become so sensitive to the cold and doesn't like to be out if he doesn't have to.  It's that season of life for us.  I'm in my caretaking era I guess.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Cold, cold day here. The wind is nuts. I’m staying in as much as possible. 

    Weekend was good. Skiing and the science museum. J finally slept better last night and I’m really really hoping that’s going to happen again tonight!
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    Glad you’ll have the mani/pedi but you need more downtime for sure if this is your caretaking era @MNNEBride
    Hope the test goes well @short+sassy
    Oof I’m sorry about your grandfather’s health / having the tough convos…and your nonsense raise @levioosa
    @charmedpam wow that sounds crazy, it must’ve been so awkward! 

    Freezing here too.  Yesterday was an MRI (my first and hopefully last one), and took the kids to the library for a bit.  I had PT early this morning and we just got back from the Museum of Natural History. We usually pop over to Central Park but skipped today, too cold. I need to do a Costco run at some point this break, but, not today. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    I'm so sorry about grandpa, @levioosa. That's really hard, and it's impossible when he's not ready to accept it. 

    It's probably all stuff you're already very familiar with, but my book club read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande last year and it really resonated with me. End of life is just so hard. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    VarunaTT said:
    @short+sassy Man, I don't even want to look.  I'm sure MO is up there too.

    @levioosa I'm so sorry.  That's such a hard conversation.  I was incredibly thankful (and wrote a note to him stating so) that the cardiologist who saw my dad was incredibly to the point and rather blunt, and told my father that he needed to decide what he wanted the end of his life to be.  So, though I know it's hard and it seemed to be ignored, good job and necessary.  All the love and support as you go through this.
    MO was on the list.  Around halfway, so about 40th worst.

    I just remembered poor Delaware was the only East Coast state representing, lol.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    CharmedPam said:
    Freezing here too! Ugh!
    @VarunaTT, hopefully the extra work gets you where you want to be!
    @short+sassy what are the odds of that drug test happening? Also, I love Louisiana, mostly only been to NOLA, which is all I can base it on lol
    @levioosa, I’m so sorry ti hear of Grandpa’s health. This has got to be hard to watch. And also, what a load of crock on your review.

    Mom and Dad came this weekend to check out the ceiling and pipes. No water damage! But I’ll need a new ceiling (knew that). I had a date on Sunday. He was a good guy, we got along well but probably won’t see each other again.  No spark.  I also think I need that first date end of the night kiss.  Is that just me? 
    Something wild happened on Friday. Three of us went to a comedy show because we wanted to do something with our girlies on Vday. There were some late comers to the show and they were slowly being seated ahead of us, so a bit into the 2nd comedian (who honestly wasn’t that funny) shortly after a double date was seated, some girl in the audience started yelling. I thought she was heckling. She jumped up and yelled out “I’m sorry. This here is my husband and he’s with his girlfriend! He told me he had to go to his brother’s basketball game but he was taking me here tomorrow!” She went up to the girl first and yelled in her face. “Get out! Get out!” Then yelled to her husband “get out!” to him too. The mistress did NOT seem shocked that her date was married either. Security came, and told them they had to leave. As they got up the entire room was boo’ing him and yelling at them to get out.  Calling her a “home wrecker!” (Agian, she did not jump up and say “what? You’re married?” So this could be justified). The couple next to them also got up and left (that’s how we knew it was a double date). They all looked fairly young. Mid thirties?
    Security came up to the lady being cheated on and told her she could stay.  
    Thing is - how can you stay after getting proof of that? How can you sit and concentrate on something that’s supposed to make you laugh all night? My mind would be racing.  They (the lady and her friend) left a bit early, 10 minutes before it ended.  And then the comedian (who wasn’t even on stage but saw and heard everything) said “are they gone? Wow! In all my 28 years of doing this. That never happened.  And you guys - you guys were all in it!” (We had her back!) that’s crazy.  What kind of divine intervention was that - that they happened to be seated 2 booths away from her?”
    And it really was. Someone up above wanted her to get her proof, because we were like “why would she go to a show a day before her H was going to take her?” I bet she had her suspicions and saw him purchasing tickets for both nights and just knew? 
    Every day a little bit of me looses faith in men (people really, women do it too I know I know).
    edit to add; @Casadena how was your comedy show Friday night? Lol 
    That's okay.  I've lived here for over 25 years and have mostly only seen NOLA and her suburbs, lmao.  You're not missing much if you haven't seen the rest of the state.  There are a few neat things to see, but it's mostly rural.

    I know I diss NOLA a lot.  But I loved it for the first 20ish years I lived here, despite all the flaws.  It's a very cool and unique city.  Wonderful place to visit, not so much to live here.  Though I've never been a fan of Louisiana, the state.


    Sounds like a few audience members became part of the entertainment!  

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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    *Hugs* @MNNEBride. Is there anyway H qualifies for respite care? So you can at least get a few hours or a day off to decompress? 


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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    short+sassy said:


    Sounds like a few audience members became part of the entertainment!  

    Yes, it was a show within a show! I told my friend, ya know, I would have done the same thing. I mean, not to the extent of telling the whole room what was going on - although, thank you for that, because we all appreciated it - but I definitely would have confronted him right then and there. I’m sure that’s why she went. It was also a 10;00 show start, so there’s a good chance she was drunk.
    also, if the show started at 10, ended at 12, what time would this dude even come home?!?    

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    CharmedPam said:
    short+sassy said:


    Sounds like a few audience members became part of the entertainment!  

    Yes, it was a show within a show! I told my friend, ya know, I would have done the same thing. I mean, not to the extent of telling the whole room what was going on - although, thank you for that, because we all appreciated it - but I definitely would have confronted him right then and there. I’m sure that’s why she went. It was also a 10;00 show start, so there’s a good chance she was drunk.
    also, if the show started at 10, ended at 12, what time would this dude even come home?!?    
    I am one of the last people to make a scene in public.  Especially with a captive audience, like a theatre.  But I dunno.  Unexpectedly seeing my H stepping out on me with another woman is an exception I can understand.

    I would probably be more likely to walk up to them and tell him to GTF outside.  Where I can have a proper screaming freak-out, without disturbing the event too much.
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