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This sucks, but you can't make him

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 

For my whole life, my dad has refused to wear a seatbelt. His excuse when I was a kid was, “We didn’t grow up with seatbelts and we turned out OK” and now he says, “It’ll be fine, I’m a safe driver” (he is not) or, “I just don’t like it.” His car has an automatic beep to alert you, but he’ll buckle it behind his back. I’ve shown him videos of crash test dummies becoming projectiles. Last year, my close friend died in a vehicle crash and I’ve become extremely anxious, especially when he texts me while driving. His partner doesn’t seem to mind, nor did my late mom. I live out of town. How do I get him to wear it?

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Re: This sucks, but you can't make him

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can't if you're not driving him.

    When I was 16 I was often driving my grandmother around and she hated the seatbelt.  I'd pull over and put it back on her if she took it off while I was driving and flat out told my parents I'm not going to let her be the reason I'm getting ticketed.  
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Live free or die. Literally. 

    You can’t make him and sadly he’s probably not going to change. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    This got stuck in my head over the weekend, b/c Threads had a post of women complaining about engineer designs that weren't made with women in mind and seatbelts took a hit.  I also struggle with seat belts cutting into my neck over my breasts.  I had a cover for awhile, but it just kinda made it a wee less uncomfortable by making the edge of the seatbelt sofer -- it was still stuck to my neck.

    I'd just tell dad I'm not riding with him and he's not riding in my car without a seatbelt.  I'd encourage the rest of my family to adopt these boundaries as well.  I'd make it a point every time we went somewhere to remind them.  I'd always couch it in, "I love you and want you to be safe".

    Even my cranky old father started wearing a seat belt b/c I wasn't having it (I'm a product of the major seat belt education that started happening in the early 80s, we even had a song about being seatbelted and we had a race to the car to see who could be belted first, and I'm pretty sure shamed a few older adults into wearing their seatbelts).  Dude can get over his discomfort just like the other percentage of the population walking around with breast do, every damn day.
    �
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My dad didn't start wearing one until he got a ticket.  I was one of the first times I smirked at him in an 'i told you so' way.  It wasn't until it hit his wallet that he made the choice.   
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We can thank Ralph Nader seat belts became mandatory car equipment as early as it did.  My dad admired him and was an early adopter and big proponent of the seat belt.  My memories go back to the mid-70s and seat belts were always a MUST in my family.

    I still remember an accident that happened on the outskirts of here.  It was an extended family driving from TX to Orlando for vacation.  There were 7-8 people in this SUV.  They got into an accident on the freeway,  The SUV flipped over a few times.

    Only two people were wearing a seat belt.  They survived.  A few minor cuts and bruises, really weren't even injured.  Everybody else died.  That's how stark the difference between seatbelt vs no seatbelt was.
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