Friday

Re: Friday

• CharmedPam member

  

  February 21

  Good luck on those tix @VarunaTT.  Was your tax refund federal or state? I filed the first day available and got the fed back within a week, but still waiting on state.  My friend (same state) got his back already.
  i have a long drive after work that i’m not looking forward to. But I am looking forward to nephew time. I almost forgot to get “aunty craft” (my signature move) but stopped in at Micheals yesterday for some easter crafts.  

  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  February 21

  Ugh taxes. 
  
  I ended up just going home last night and skipping a workout. I think I needed that. I'm still tired today but a little of the funk is gone. My mom also sent us texts saying we needed to come over on Sunday (the day I had said was going to be my no commitments day) because they got a new car and it's being delivered that day and they need to show us how it works and it made me spiral a little. H is going to call her for me today and tell her no, and give options that work better for us, so I'm really grateful for that because I was ready to cry yesterday. He also went over to my parent's house yesterday and helped with a bunch of stuff and I know that was hard on him too so I really appreciate that. My uncle is in town and as predicted, Grandpa is all perked up and energetic because he's here. He even went to breakfast this morning (his thing), and yesterday he couldn't even make it to the front door. It's not that I'm upset about him feeling better, it's just so frustrating to always see huge decline and then when people fly in from out of town, the excitement perks the Grandparents up and then we (the in area caretakers) look like the people crying wolf. I would love for my uncle to spend a solid month instead of 3-6 days here and see what everyone else sees. 
  
  Anyways, otherwise it's SSDD here. I think I've decided on a classical music concert at a local college for my birthday followed by a mini pub crawl and walk around the cute college town. I decided, fuck it, I know some people will be bored with the concert but I always do everything thinking of what "everyone" will enjoy, and my interests are always left out. It's not that I don't enjoy the other things but it would be nice to do some of the things I want to do for once. I think the art museum nearby is open (and free!) that day too. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  February 21

  @levioosa That sounds LOVELY.  TBH, I love seeing my friends happy, so whatever they want for their birthday, I'll go and have a great time, even if it's not my vibe.  You do that for other people...your friends should/would do that for you.  Hell, I'm trapping some of my nearest and dearest into a media room and making them watch a movie called Hundreds of Beavers.  I'm 100000% sure there is some background chat somewhere saying, WTF is Varuna having us do now?!  But they're still coming and they'll make sure I have a brilliant time.
  
  I feel you on the caretaker stuff.  IDK which is worse, that when your person is "on" they seem better or when i get a text that is "tell me how she's REALLY doing".  If you want to be involved, get your ass over here more often and HELP ME, rather than making me do emotional labor for you via text.
  
  @CharmedPam Federal tax.  I won't get my state tax return back, b/c ah...um...I kinda forgot to pay them last year, so that $35 will go towards my $500 balance.  I'll get those paid now that they finally sent me a letter reminding me.  I've usually always filed the first day you could and didn't get the refund until end of February, so this was fast.

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• banana468 member

  

  February 21

  I'm sorry @levioosa.  It has to be a new energy that your grandfather is feeling and then it will lull again.  Would your uncle accept your opinion as someone who is also an expert in the field?  What a stress it is to not trust you.
  
  I'm enjoying my new laptop for work after the old one started making scary noises.  
  
  I'm looking forward to the weekend and the hope of sleep.  Tomorrow I need to get Chiquita to a fencing meet but she's not competing since she's too young.  The days in a school gym on bleachers are LONG!  
  
  DH and I need to do our taxes too.  Most years it's not really a great refund but it's still decent to know what we're up against while we make sure the HSA covers the deductible we know we'll hit 1st qtr. 

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• levioosa member

  

  February 21

  One of my perks of marriage is that H always does the taxes now because he's good at it and doesn't absolutely fucking hate it like I do. lol. 
  
  @banana468 It's a total pattern that Grandpa (and Grandma, too) will be doing really poorly, then my uncle comes and they are so happy to see him they perk up just long enough to make it through his visit. Then they crash right after he leaves and we're stuck picking up the pieces. He's also not really that helpful with stuff. Some of it I get, I'm over every weekend now and I still don't know where half of their shit is or the intricacies of all of the household tasks to do. But last time he was here and Grandpa went to the hospital I ended up taking over anyways and he didn't even bring a sweater to him with the ER and called us to bring that because he was cold. They didn't even call 911 until I got back into the house from a drive down the street to Starbucks because they didn't know what to do in the meantime while Grandpa was crashing (911. You. Call. 9.1.1.). So I have a love-hate relationship with his visits. He's a very laissez-faire about life in general which is hard for me as a total Type A. But I started really sounding the alarm last year that the decline was happening in a non-avoidable and progressive way. I was really honest with family that I thought this last Christmas was definitely going to be their last good Christmas, and possibly the last Christmas they were both alive with us. I still think I'm right. In the last 12 months Grandpa alone has gone from hospital stays/visits once every other month, to every month, to every other week, and now twice a week. That's an unavoidable fact. He's losing 2-3 pints of blood every 3-4 days and that's an unavoidable fact. So I can hear the eye rolls across the phone sometimes but I know I'm right. Being right just sucks and this is the opposite of a prize that comes with it. Yay adulthood. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  February 21

  I'm sorry @levioosa we saw similar situations with our grandparents as they were passing  - especially DH's grandmother.  Isn't there a study about the number of hospitalizations a human experiences at such a high percentage as they age and are close to passing?  I'm kind of concerned about that when it comes to both my parents who are an hour away and the ILs.  At least I have a brother who is now fairly dependable and also has no kids living 45 min from them and working 25 min from them.  Sadly he's the one they can lean on often while we're an hour away and have two kids with really active schedules.
  
  But BIL lives hundreds of miles away.  And last year when FIL was septic you could see that it was a lot of DH's shoulders mentally and physically because MIL has NEVER done well in high stress and that's only going to get worse as they age.  And BIL just sort of handles them from a distance.  I do at least think he's not going to discount any assessment from DH - he just won't be the person do do anything about it.
  
  
  

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• MNNEBride member

  

  February 21

  We got our state tax refund back within a week, but we owe federal taxes, so we are +$98—woohoo! When I was single, I loved getting a decent refund and usually bought furniture to replace my second-hand things.  
  
  @levioosa, caretaking sucks. It's tough, and those who don't do it have no idea of the physical and mental load.  
  
  @banana468 - I also got a new laptop for work. I like it, but it has taken a few days to get things back to how I like them. My Edge favorites didn't get backed up and thus couldn't be restored. Fortunately, I found a file of them I had saved a few years ago and was able to restore them. The ones I use most are in Chrome, and those were transferred.
  
  My birthday was yesterday, and it was lovely. DH ordered flowers and gave me a nice gift card for crafting supplies. We ordered dinner from one of our favorite restaurants. We'll have family over on Saturday for cake and ice cream.  Happy early Birthday @VarunaTT, I know it's coming up soon!
  
  

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 21

  Happy birthday @MNNEBride!
  
  I finally did our taxes this morning. I always have one account that waits forever to send me a 1099, so I can never file early. It's a small refund, but I still hope it comes before the federal government collapses. 
  
  It's going to be a busy weekend here. Long run early tomorrow, then groceries and a few errands. Then tomorrow night we have a game. Sunday I've got to get to costco and it's my day on the meal train for a friend that just had surgery. I'm excited to go see her, but she lives and hour away, so it will be a big chunk of the day. Hopefully some sleep too!

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• levioosa member

  

  February 21

  Happy Birthday!!!! @MNNEBride I hope you were able to have some relaxing time to yourself too. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  February 21

  We have a few birthdays all around the same time.  Pisces babies unite?  Happy birthday, @MNNEBride!  That does sound wonderful.

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• short+sassy member

  

  February 21

  @MNNEBride, Happy Birthday!
  
  I never get a refund anyway, so I put off doing my taxes until April.  Which is a lie, lol.  I do an extension by April 15th.
  
  NGL, I plan to cheat on my taxes this year.  Not something I normally do because I think everyone should pay their fair share.  But Trump is taking the US on a bullet train to economic collapse and I need as much money in my own pockets as possible.
  
  I can set it up so it looks like I don't have any profit from my rental business and gig job.  Those net profits are why I usually owe money.  Who's going to be looking at my return?  Nobody.  Alas, you generally can't "cross" over a business loss to W-2 income so there isn't much I can do about normal salary.
  
  Huh!  I should change my paperwork at work so it looks like I have 3 dependents or something stupid like that.  I know I can't get away with that for the actual return next year.  But that's more money in my pocket for this year.
  
  I can go on a payment plan next year.  Oh, that's right.  They laid off a bunch of the people who "collect revenue".

  

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  February 22

  Happy Birthday @MNNEBride, @levioosa and @VarunaTT! 
  
  I've been sleeping horribly this week. I've been so tired my eyes are red and gritty. Finally last night I slept well. Today (Saturday) I need to set up for communion at church tomorrow. I am also going to an Italian conversation class that is free for members of our local Italian Heritage Society. I hope it is good. I miss speaking in Italian on a weekly basis since my tutor got a real job. We talk every couple of months but it isn't the same. It is finally going to warm up a little this weekend and even more next week. I'm so ready to get rid of these terribly cold temperatures. 

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