Dear Prudence,
I work at a local garden nursery, and I recently witnessed an interaction between a customer and a regular that left me unsure about whether I should have stepped in. One of our regulars, an older man who knows a lot about gardening, was chatting with me and a co-worker near the register when a woman walked in. She went straight to the shelves, grabbed a seed-starting item, and headed for checkout. As she approached, the man casually asked, “Starting some seeds?” His tone was friendly. He was just making conversation.
The woman barely looked at him and muttered, “Yep,” in a cold, uninterested tone. She exaggeratedly stepped around him, as if he was physically in her way, which he wasn’t at all. He was just standing there, the same as before. Still, he didn’t seem offended and followed up with, “Can I give you some advice?” Again, his tone was polite, and given his knowledge, I figured he probably had something useful to share. But the woman cut him off with a sharp, “No, thank you,” her voice clipped and dismissive, like she couldn’t believe he dared to speak to her. The man looked surprised but just said, “Oh, OK,” and didn’t press the issue. After that, the whole store went awkwardly silent. I rang her up quickly, and she left without another word, clearly irritated.
I understand that not everyone wants unsolicited advice, but he wasn’t pushy or rude. He was just being friendly, and she acted like he was harassing her. It was so unnecessarily hostile that I felt bad for him. At the same time, I didn’t know if I should have said anything—maybe lightened the mood or reassured him afterward. Should I have stepped in somehow? If so, what would have been the right way to handle it?
—Unsure and Uneasy