Fiancée ideas outrageous

Re: Fiancée ideas outrageous

• flantastic member

  

  March 23

  Okay, a couple issues here.
  
  First and simplest, contributing to the wedding:
  
  You can say "We can budget $X for this," and then stick to it. This will probably cause the least amount of problems for both of you. It has absolutely nothing to do with your feelings about how they spend $X. And if what thy want costs more than $X, they can figure out how much they truly want it.
  
  The other option is to say, "We will pay for the food" but then if you become uncomfortable with the cost or extravagance of the food they choose, then that gets much stickier.
  
  If you have already done the second option, you always have the ability to call your son and say, "As we've thought about it more, we can contribute $X toward the wedding - you guys use it wherever it will help your budget most."
  
  Second issue, whether she's right for him:
  
  You're going to have to accept that there's nothing you can do about this. One of my brothers married his HS girlfriend and our family also had some reservations about how she treated him. They are indeed divorced now, after about 3 years. But the only way to stay in his life, so that you can be a loving landing spot if he needs one, is to keep your disdain for his chosen fiancee to yourself.

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• levioosa member

  

  March 24

  knottied12445cd06c66470 said:

  My son got engaged to his high school mate. She is not the right one for him. My son is fair, handsome, tall, genuinely nice, is employed and his fiancée is short, dark, hunched, not at all attractive and still studying. I feel she just wants to climb the social ladder. I did not pay attention when they were just friends in school because I never thought he will be attracted to her. Financially, my husband and I are better compared to her parents. When she is with my son, I never saw any love or caring for my son but on the other hand my son is very loving and caring with her. We reluctantly have accepted my son's choice but keep hoping he meets someone who will love him also. Now, his fiancée is demanding a  grand wedding and my son has just started working. just to help my son, we are also contributing a  lot of money for the wedding. She and her parents are not spending much. We are ok financially but we don't like extravagance but keeping our mouth shut. all this is fine if I saw even a little bit of love for my son from her. I am feeling helpless. Please advice. 
  

  This is MUD, right?
  
  If not, I’m sensing a lot of racial undertones and those are gross and you should be ashamed of yourself, LW. 

  
  

  Otherwise, what flantastic said above. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• CharmedPam member

  

  March 24

  knottied12445cd06c66470 said:

  My son got engaged to his high school mate. She is not the right one for him. My son is fair, handsome, tall, genuinely nice, is employed and his fiancée is short, dark, hunched, not at all attractive and still studying. I feel she just wants to climb the social ladder. I did not pay attention when they were just friends in school because I never thought he will be attracted to her. Financially, my husband and I are better compared to her parents. When she is with my son, I never saw any love or caring for my son but on the other hand my son is very loving and caring with her. We reluctantly have accepted my son's choice but keep hoping he meets someone who will love him also. Now, his fiancée is demanding a  grand wedding and my son has just started working. just to help my son, we are also contributing a  lot of money for the wedding. She and her parents are not spending much. We are ok financially but we don't like extravagance but keeping our mouth shut. all this is fine if I saw even a little bit of love for my son from her. I am feeling helpless. Please advice. 
  

  Ugh! Hunched over too?  Get rid of her! 

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 25

  Gross

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• knottied12445cd06c66470 member

  

  April 1

  thank you for your reply... it is helpful

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