Dear Prudence,
I’m a 51-year-old man and I have had a long-complicated relationship with my older sibling. We were very opposites growing up. He was a typical selfish and self-centered jock bully. As I grew older, I realized he did not add any particular value to my life or experience, so I cut him out of my life after I left home at 18. While we are not close, we do maintain somewhat civil contact, although once our mother passes, I don’t think I’ll be in touch with him often. That said, over the past eight years my sibling has gone from just annoyingly conservative to full-on embracing of the church of MAGA. He goes out of his way to pick political fights, even though he’s pretty much mentally unarmed. I’ve unfollowed him on all social media, but he still comments and tries to start arguments on my (very) occasional political social media posts.
Here’s my dilemma: He’s self-employed and a total tax cheat. He brags about having his whole family including wife, daughter, and son-in-law on his business’ fleet cards, he hires workers under the table, he hires subcontractors that knowingly hire undocumented immigrants, and brags about being so business savvy that he accepts payments in the form of high-ticket luxury household items instead of currency. I’m sure there is more. I am not a vindictive person, but I really want to report him to the IRS. While I’m pretty sure it could not be traced back to me as he’s got a big mouth and I likely know only a fraction of what he brags about in relation to his “business,” doing so would ultimately hurt his wife and children, none of whom I have a grudge against. It just irritates me that he embodies so much of what’s wrong with our nation right now. Do you have any thoughts or advice?
—Very Much a Dilemma