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Seems like a lot of adults feel this way

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I am 49, newly divorced, and I find myself without close friends. For the past two years, I’ve been actively trying to build connections. I go to church and volunteer, rent a box at the community garden to meet other gardeners, attend events at the local library, chat with vendors at the farmers market, and know all my neighbors by name. People are friendly, but I’m still alone every Friday night. If this were just happening to me, I’d chalk it up to my age or stage in life. But my sons, who are 18 and 20, are struggling to find meaningful friendships too. Is this just how the world is now? Where have all the friendships gone?

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Re: Seems like a lot of adults feel this way

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, we’re fucked. 

    Are you waiting for people to initiate or are you trying to initiate, LW? 


    image
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yah, Covid + social media has done a number on our ability to make meaningful relationships. 

    The way around it is to do the uniting. Hopefully, eventually, other people will reciprocate. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm not sure this is a new thing. I realized pretty quickly once I got out of school that making friends as an adult is very different than making them at school. To this day, the majority of my friends are people I met at school or college jobs, or friends of those friends. 

    But I've found that while it's really easy to be friendly, making a friend means you have to ask for it. Are you just chatting with people, or are you asking if they want to grab a coffee or see a movie? Inviting them somewhere and exchanging numbers is how you start a friendship. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    IMyNameIsNot said:
    I'm not sure this is a new thing. I realized pretty quickly once I got out of school that making friends as an adult is very different than making them at school. To this day, the majority of my friends are people I met at school or college jobs, or friends of those friends. 

    But I've found that while it's really easy to be friendly, making a friend means you have to ask for it. Are you just chatting with people, or are you asking if they want to grab a coffee or see a movie? Inviting them somewhere and exchanging numbers is how you start a friendship. 
    It’s like dating without the pressure 😃

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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just saw this.
    Read;
    https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/wellness/story/middle-age-adults-us-lonelier-countries-121048502?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=dhfacebook&utm_content=app.dashsocial.com/abcnews/library/media/524732549

    Wanna look at the headline only;


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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 24
    This is also interesting. Brings me to this question:
    Do you have a best friend? What classifies someone as a best friend? 

    https://open.spotify.com/show/7vz4RYsD5MulTCrcH478t1?si=77e967f6fafe4288

    I do. But she’s not local. I feel like a BF is anyone you can confide ANYthing in or someone you know would be there for any reason without hesitation. 
    I have a ton of local GOOD friends, but no IRL bestie
    edit; if you can’t access the link it’s Mel Robbins and an expert saying 40% of people do not have a best friend

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