Dear Prudence,
Our daughter-in-law, “Alyssa,” has been a widow for four years. I adore her; she and our son, “Brian,” were so in love. But I don’t know how to bring up an awkward topic: dating again. Brian was diagnosed with aggressive leukemia at 27 and never got to turn 28. They’d always wanted kids, especially Allie. Sadly, Allie had a late miscarriage after his diagnosis. It was a horrible time for everyone, but Allie was consumed by the combined grief. We invited her to stay with us after his death because we loved her, and I was frankly worried about her well-being. She was working and seeing friends, but it was like she was sleepwalking through it all, and her physical health was visibly bad.
Alyssa slowly recovered and took the initiative to move into her own place two years ago. She seems well, and we still see her often, but she doesn’t seem to be dating, even casually. Last year, I gently suggested getting out there, and she sharply told me it was way too soon. But if she wants a baby, the time window to meet someone isn’t that long. I want her to have the family she talks about, and I know her own dad is pushing the “too soon” narrative at her. Her parents were worse than useless in her early widowhood: They got a divorce a few weeks before Brian’s death and then tried to get family to pick sides after his funeral. How can I gently suggest she consider dating anyway?