This would be so frustrating
Dear Prudence,
I’ve gone through a lot of positive change in the last six months. I realized my job was awful under a new manager, and found new work. It’s shaken up my routines, and I have more free time. It gives me the time and opportunity to go to the gym on the way in, and a lot of my colleagues play pickleball together during lunch so I’ve joined them. I have time for a real lunch break every day, and it’s easier for me to eat healthier when I have the time. My husband and I have opted for a meal service a few days a week to make meals easier so we only focus on being together at mealtime instead of the stress cooking every night. I wanted to get better at pickleball, so my husband and I started playing doubles casually with friends.
I think this stuff is mostly great—I no longer spend all my waking hours at or worrying about work. I’m getting stronger, we have new hobbies together, and I’ve incidentally lost about 25 pounds. My husband keeps “joking” that the weight loss and out-earning him means I’m going to leave him. I’ve asked him to knock it off, asked him if any of the changes are not working for him, suggested we try something together that he picks. None of it has worked. I think he’s focused on weight loss as something women do when they have a foot out the door, since his best friend is currently going through a divorce. It hurts! I’m doing better and it feels like he can only see it as scary, instead of exciting progress we’ve made together as a couple. He’s lost some weight and gained some new skills too, and I’d like to just celebrate together. Nothing stays the same forever, and it doesn’t mean I’m leaving. How do I get to the bottom of these “jokes”?
Re: This would be so frustrating