You're right, they're wrong, imo

Casadena · May 29

I have a question concerning the etiquette of saving seats for people at events with open seating. I grew up in England where we were taught that such practice was rude and just made it more difficult for everyone. Maybe in America the homesteading tradition means it’s OK to stake your claim. I’m a father with a child in high school, and recently I went to see a musical performance of my child’s at school. I arrived in good time but the bleachers were packed. Finally, in the last row, I tried to sit down, but the woman on the aisle said the entire bench was saved. There was nowhere else for me to go, so I sat down anyway. Then she and several friends of hers started lecturing me and saying I had to move. It got heated and someone said he hoped he didn’t have to call the police! Eventually a couple in the row in front graciously offered to make room for me. Shouldn’t there be a moral obligation to make the best of the situation and accommodate everyone, even if that means moving around or sitting apart?

CharmedPam · May 29

I can see saving a seat or two. But it’s ridic to expect no one to sit on the entire bench.

have we had this one before? It sounds familiar.

banana468 · May 29

I feel like you can't save more than a couple of seats and expect that to pass.

This is also why I'm in general not a fan of saving seats but picking your battles and kind of knowing how it works at the places you go.

Sort of like the major complaint I hear of people who go down to a resort pool at 6 AM to towel off the chairs and mark territory they may not use until 11 AM or ever but consider it their real estate.

I hate the practice but with it comes a need to police it.

levioosa · May 29

@banana468 we stayed at a resort once where you put in your name to reserve pool seats and honestly that was the nicest time I’ve ever had finding pool spots. We had a reservation, there was a time limit on when we got there (couldn’t reserve at 8 am and then show up at 1), and for last minute spots they still had an open area. But it was way less chaotic that way.

banana468 · May 29

@levioosa I love that stuff. My point on the LW is that while it's annoying and bad it starts to turn into a who is more wrong situation. Is it first-come first serve no saving? If there's no rule to manage then people fend for themselves and I try to not be open to conflict publicly unless I really think it's worth it.

But there are times that first come first serve backfires when you have people to enforce it. Like in church, there are ushers in our parish who will push people in so you can't just big arms your way to saving seats. But without people to enforce, it just seems like a way for people to turn into viral videos.

levioosa · May 29

@banana468 oh I get it. I’ve been in the same situation as LW before and I’ll just roll my eyes and move on. Because is the battle worth it? It’s crazy work to reserve a whole bleacher and not just 1-2 extra seats, but everyone knows who the asshole is when they keep claiming an entire space.

short+sassy · May 29

I'm the same way. Nothing wrong with one person holding I'd say up to three seats. But more than that and they and their entire group are being AHs.

My experience with that was when I went on a European cruise by myself in 2022 The one that was postponed 3x because of COVID, lol. I went to one of the shows about 15-20 minutes early.

The theatre seemed to be at least half empty. Until I started trying to find a seat (eyeroll). I was ONE person! Three different lone people were holding half the seats for three of the middle rows. One guy even specified he was holding TWELVE seats. He pointed down the row and far off into the distance, I could see the jacket he referred to as being the last seat being saved. @levioosa, I did a huge eyeroll while we were still making eye contact, before I walked away.

A woman in one of the side rows overheard me and called me over. She asked how big my party was. I told her it was just me. She smiled and said it was only the four of them and they could scootch down so I could have a seat. So nice! It restored my faith in humanity.

----

It is HARDCORE enforcement during Mardi Gras. Both the city and my fellow people take care of that.

For some of the especially big and popular parades, people used to set up their spots DAYS ahead of time. Poles in the ground with police-like tape around "their" area. With their bigger stuff like ladders/chairs/tents/tables, sometimes even couches, set up. Usually the coolers and BBQs would arrive the night before, because those would be more likely to get stolen if they were put out the same 3-4 days early. It had gotten to ridiculous levels.

Including multiple especially stupid people every year who would put their stuff ON the streetcar tracks. Which stay active with their normal routes until only a few hours before a parade.

The city started setting morning times on the days of for when people could start staking out their spots. With warnings that anything put out earlier than that were subject to being thrown away. But they didn't enforce it much the first few years. That's okay. My fellow citizens did because the vast majority of us HATED it, lol.

Many snarky comments on social media about how they love this time of year because people so generously leave their extra ladders out for people to grab. Or complaining about how people "litter so much", they'd had to spend an hour that afternoon picking up all the poles and tape someone had left all over the median from (specifically mentioned the blocks they'd covered).

But for the last few years or so, the city itself has started driving down the parade routes in the early morning with garbage trucks and throw EVERYTHING away. It's been a big improvement.

ei34 · May 30

One person holding 1-2 seats in addition to their own is fine imo. A whole bench or row is wild.

I'm not a big beach/pool/resort vacation type of person but I've seen videos on social media of people rushing to put towels down on seats early in the morning and I always want to know the name of the hotel. LWs situation with a school and bleachers might be harder to control (I can tell you that when teachers sign up for overtime to work evening shows, we're minding the students backstage, not in auditoriums or gyms policing grownups), but sorry not sorry a hotel should definitely be monitoring something like pool seating. If you're sitting in a chaise lounge, it's yours. If you're currently swimming in the pool and your towel and bag are there, also fine. If you're physically not in the pool area gtfo with that. Totally something the resort should monitor.

banana468 · May 30

ei34 said:

One person holding 1-2 seats in addition to their own is fine imo. A whole bench or row is wild.

I'm not a big beach/pool/resort vacation type of person but I've seen videos on social media of people rushing to put towels down on seats early in the morning and I always want to know the name of the hotel. LWs situation with a school and bleachers might be harder to control (I can tell you that when teachers sign up for overtime to work evening shows, we're minding the students backstage, not in auditoriums or gyms policing grownups), but sorry not sorry a hotel should definitely be monitoring something like pool seating. If you're sitting in a chaise lounge, it's yours. If you're currently swimming in the pool and your towel and bag are there, also fine. If you're physically not in the pool area gtfo with that. Totally something the resort should monitor.

Oh I totally agree! I'm guessing these are cruises or resorts who just don't have the time to do it? I don't know but it's dfinitely something I'll look into if/when we ever take one of those trips. I need the seating that's under the darkest of umbrellas.

short+sassy · May 30

banana468 said:

ei34 said:

One person holding 1-2 seats in addition to their own is fine imo. A whole bench or row is wild.

I'm not a big beach/pool/resort vacation type of person but I've seen videos on social media of people rushing to put towels down on seats early in the morning and I always want to know the name of the hotel. LWs situation with a school and bleachers might be harder to control (I can tell you that when teachers sign up for overtime to work evening shows, we're minding the students backstage, not in auditoriums or gyms policing grownups), but sorry not sorry a hotel should definitely be monitoring something like pool seating. If you're sitting in a chaise lounge, it's yours. If you're currently swimming in the pool and your towel and bag are there, also fine. If you're physically not in the pool area gtfo with that. Totally something the resort should monitor.

Oh I totally agree! I'm guessing these are cruises or resorts who just don't have the time to do it? I don't know but it's dfinitely something I'll look into if/when we ever take one of those trips. I need the seating that's under the darkest of umbrellas.

I forget the exact policy, but Norwegian Cruise has something like "if items on a pool chair have been left unattended for X time, they will be removed and can be retrieved at Y."

You're right, they're wrong, imo

Re: You're right, they're wrong, imo

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