Dear Prudence,
I am a stay-at-home mom of three, including a toddler. My husband works from home. We often volunteer to take on various other children if their parents are in a pinch. My sister complains that we refuse to take her 7-year-old son anywhere and will only watch him at our home. My nephew has severe ADHD, and my sister refuses to medicate him.
He has the attention span and instincts of a golden retriever that just saw a squirrel. He will run off at the drop of a hat, which includes running into traffic. This has happened more than once. If I don’t have a firm grip on him, he will bolt. He has run out of shops, run away at the beach or the park, and once, when we were taking my child to the doctor, he ran away to go see the geese in the pond and nearly got bitten for his troubles.
My sister will blame me for not “watching” him properly. He doesn’t listen, doesn’t obey, and he has no sense of survival instincts! He is 7. My 5-year-old understands to stay with mommy and the cart when getting groceries and going into the parking lot. At home, my husband can give me another pair of hands, and we have a locking gate. I am tired of the frustration, worry, and frankly, my sister’s ingratitude. I finally told her that to consider us off her child care roster—she can find a babysitter to scream at instead. That led to more screaming, and I hung up on her. I am getting pushback from my family because my sister has it so “hard” as a single mom. (Her ex is rich and pays alimony.) She has a part-time job because she claimed she was too bored when her son started school.
I am at the point that I am agreeing with my husband no more babysitting unless someone is in the hospital. I am tired of this. Is there any other way?