Dear Prudence,
My wife “Sandra” and her siblings recently decided to take one of those Ancestry DNA tests for the purpose of starting a family genealogy project. To their shock, however, it revealed that she was the product of an affair her mother thought would never come to light. Fortunately, the man who raised her, whom she thought was her biological father, said he will always consider Sandra to be his daughter. However, he is divorcing her mother, and Sandra and her siblings are furious and have cut off contact with her. I understand my wife’s pain and want to be supportive of her, but we have a 3-year-old who is very close to her grandmother and doesn’t understand why she is suddenly no longer in her life. Affair notwithstanding, my mother-in-law has always been a wonderful grandparent to her (as is my father-in-law), and I would hate to see my daughter lose a meaningful relationship. Is there some way to thread this needle?