Dear Prudence,
I am from a country with a similar history to the U.S. My family is relatively intergenerationally wealthy. I have always known this, as well as the fact that my ancestors were highly likely to have benefited from the local equivalent to slavery at the expense of our First Nations people. While bad, it was over a century ago. My grandfather who I adored died when I was in my early 20s. I had known he was conservative, but he had instilled in me values like kindness, fairness, and a work ethic. He also seemed to be loved by everyone he met. He was philanthropic and encouraged me to be the same way. I was also encouraged by him to give silently without fanfare.
Herein lies the problem. I found out that one of the sources of his wealth was by investing in the company and charity of a man who was horrifically racist. Like the closest you can be to being a member of the Klan in a country where that isn’t a thing. The so-called charitable wing of this man’s company was a far right think tank that once suggested poisoning the water of local indigenous populations. I’m devastated and don’t know how to reconcile that with who my grandpa was. But I also don’t know what to do on a practical level. Do I donate the equivalent from the family trust to more indigenous specific charities (we already give to some); do I have the family company’s board make it known and give a formal apology? With interest this think tank has made hundreds of thousands over the years. I’m sick about it.