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Yes you'd be out of line

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
My mother-in-law recently gifted a lamp to my husband and me that has been in their family for three generations. It is absolutely ugly and clashes with our decor. However, both my husband and MIL expect it to have a place of honor in our family room. Would I be out of line to arrange for a little “accident” to happen to it during the course of cleaning?
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Re: Yes you'd be out of line

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's a major award!! 

    Be really nice to the H.  Maybe work on him having a place in the home that's specifically his.  But consider where that lamp can then fit into that space. 

    I don't recommend breaking it into a ton of pieces for cripes sake. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    H had some decor I haaaated. Never in my mind would I have purposefully trashed something he cherished. I did tell him it had to go to the den and I gave him carte blanche for his den with decorating, but damaging something he loves was never on the list of possible solutions. In fact, I did break something I disliked completely by accident once and I felt awful. I immediately went to buy a new one even though it was expensive and he told me that was enough and I didn't have to. 


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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My MIL gives us stuff all the time that she expects us to treasure, but my first question is always to DH - "Does this have any value to you, any memories attached, any reason you particularly like it?" It's rare that the answer is yes, but if it is, it stays. There is a little tile "WC" (water closet) sign that I would never have chosen for myself, but apparently DH always liked it at his grandparents' house (and thus it also reminds him of his grandparents). So it's on our downstairs bathroom door.

    The H wants it in your home. Maybe he remembers it being in his grandparents' or great-grandparents' home. Find a way to make it work in your home.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Silliness and not Christmas Story references aside I do think the LW and her H need to come to some terms.

    And seriously - unless it's some giant leg lamp that screams "electric sex" there's going to be a way to work around this to be some place where it works.  Even if that place is something like the husband's bedside table.

    There's a way to go about this and the way to do it is by talking with her H and finding out what HE wants to do.

    We have a family artist and are lucky to have originals that were gifted to us.  After hearing MIL's very strong opinions about how BIL and SIL put one of theirs in the "wrong" place we didn't do that.  But I also think that my MIL will never realize that she's kept at arm's length because she raised people to have minds of their own and not HER own. 
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