Dear Prudence,
I have two friends, “Elissa” and “Lindsey,” who absolutely hate their jobs. They work for different places, but in the same field. They constantly lament about all aspects of their jobs. And, their complaints are valid. But I have a bigger issue with the root of these complaints.
They both took these jobs for the money. Elissa started her career from the gate in this job (different offices, same job), which is known for paying well, though of course, the trade-off is very long hours. She has been doing the same job for over 15 years, and has risen up and really made a name for herself. But she’s still miserable doing the work. However, she’s also used to taking very nice vacations and living in a very nice apartment. Lindsey started out in the same job I did—same field as Elissa, but low-paying (think private versus public). Lindsey really enjoyed the work and did it for almost 12 years, then finally decided she wanted to make more money. To be clear, she didn’t need to. By her own admission, she just wanted a better-paying job so she could afford a fancier lifestyle. It’s now been three years, and she’s also miserable.
Prudie … maybe I’m a terrible friend, but I’m just so tired of hearing them complain. They made their choices, not out of necessity, but because they want nicer things. That’s fine—they’re allowed to want what they want, and if they have the capacity to obtain that life, good on them! But, the same way I don’t complain about not being able to take fancy vacations and afford to eat out all the time because I chose the trade-off of a lower-paying, but low-stress job, they need to recognize the trade-off they made! How do I stop myself from reaching a point of snapping at them one day?