Dear Prudence,
I am an only child and my mother has always been … let’s call it “involved” with my life, and I have done my best to deal with it. Two years ago, I met my now-fiancée, “Arista,” and we are getting married in November. Last week, my mother came to me demanding that I call off our engagement. As it turns out, she had had a professional background check done on Arista, and she really did not like what she’d found.
After her little snoop-about, my mother discovered that she used to be in adult entertainment. The thing is, Arista was up front with me about this early on in our relationship and it doesn’t matter to me. However, I had intended to not say anything to my mother because I knew she would react like this, but more importantly, it wasn’t her business.
When I told my mom as much, she blew up and told me that I couldn’t sully our family by “marrying a whore.” I told her this wasn’t her decision and that she could either treat my future wife with the respect and decency she deserves or sit out the wedding. Now she’s told everyone in the family. Many are supportive and think she’s nuts, but some have shared her reaction. Is this grounds for removing her from my life for good?