Dear Prudence,
My mother-in-law has dementia and lives with my wife and me. Unfortunately, things are beginning to deteriorate; she barely recognizes us half the time and has begun getting combative (hitting, spitting, scratching). It’s reached a point where we can no longer handle her care, and she needs to be in a facility. My wife, however, remains convinced we are still up to it. Her mother recently stabbed her with a fork during dinner (thankfully, not badly); yesterday she swallowed a quarter, which luckily exited naturally. I understand how difficult this must be for her, but this has become a matter of safety for all involved. What can I do to convince her that what her mother now requires in terms of care is beyond our capability?
—No Other Option