Tuesday

VarunaTT · July 29

Seems like we're all slowly fading from the board. I get it. I'm barely on social media either. IDK if it's age or just **gesticulates wildly around** this dumpster fire, but life is just really difficult right now for most people, I think.

Pete Buttigieg showed his butt yesterday. I am not surprised by that or what he said. He hasn't passed my gut check, ever.

Otherwise, SSDD. I don't really have anything exciting to share.

Casadena · July 29

I hope this doesn't totally fade, i really enjoy connecting with you all even if it's sporadic at times!

Our schedule is jam packed and crazy and our kids haven't even started activities. G starts kindergarten in a few weeks and I feel pretty overwhelmed. He needs a few clothes, a backpack, and I have no idea if he needs to bring extra clothes, if the school is nut-free, etc. There are "meet the teacher" nights and K meetups etc planned but no times posted anywhere. We just found out we're waitlisted for the before/after school program and are scrambling to figure out before/after care because H and I both work ~8-5 and school is 9-3:30. I'm getting antsy about the lack of info. There's no postings anywhere. I'm thankful we live in a very diverse area, but observing most major religious holidays is making our fall schedule pretty tough. Work also has a block on both the parks district and school district websites which just adds a layer of annoyance that i can't check into anything while i'm working, even on a break.

I am supposed to travel every week in September...and not super into it. After that it should settle for a few months, but i'm actively trying to get out of at least one trip.

Trying to force myself to workout at lunchtime because I like the classes, it's FREE, and i feel so much better when I do. Especially when i'm antsy and a bit anxious.

MNNEBride · July 29

SSDD here. We did have intense storms last night. Sirens went off, and we had a 75 mph wind gust. No damage in our immediate neighborhood, but lots of trees are down in the area. The upside is that they broke our super hot and humid weather streak.

charlotte989875 · July 29

I just read what he said @VarunaTT and I’m guessing you mean about trans women in sports? I hate so much that trans women get used as a pawn in this debate- no one asking these questions or making a big deal about it compete in sports, or often even have kids who are competing so it feels like such a.. I don’t.. just trying to be hurtful and discriminatory just to do so.

I think the biggest concerns in women and girls sports are abusive coaches, lack of understanding of female bodies and normal hormonal and developmental phases and how they impact performance; eating disorders; doping. So until people who are yelling about how trans women are harming sports understand the real issue of women sports I’ve had enough.

M starts kindergarten this year too @casadena and I feel the same way. We don’t have anything on who his teachers are, what he needs, procedures for drop off. We’re lucky our town does an after school rec program (for $600 a semester) that M got into. H is convinced we don’t need before school care so we’re letting that one ride for now, lol

Casadena · July 29

charlotte989875 said:

I just read what he said @VarunaTT and I’m guessing you mean about trans women in sports? I hate so much that trans women get used as a pawn in this debate- no one asking these questions or making a big deal about it compete in sports, or often even have kids who are competing so it feels like such a.. I don’t.. just trying to be hurtful and discriminatory just to do so.

I think the biggest concerns in women and girls sports are abusive coaches, lack of understanding of female bodies and normal hormonal and developmental phases and how they impact performance; eating disorders; doping. So until people who are yelling about how trans women are harming sports understand the real issue of women sports I’ve had enough.

M starts kindergarten this year too @casadena and I feel the same way. We don’t have anything on who his teachers are, what he needs, procedures for drop off. We’re lucky our town does an after school rec program (for $600 a semester) that M got into. H is convinced we don’t need before school care so we’re letting that one ride for now, lol

I'm glad it's not just our district then! I'm so frustrated with the lack of info. Our after school program is through the park district too, but they dont' let us know til mid-July whether we're "in" or not (there's obviously high demand). We're #6 on the waitlist and there won't be any communication about it until we get an email that we're in. Could be next week, could be next May. Hard to plan for!! So we're going to try and flex our schedules for a bit and hope it moves quickly - otherwise we'll have to figure out a nanny situation i think.

ei34 · July 29

The transition to K is a big one if it’s also the start at a new school, good luck to you both @casadena and @charlotte989875, and that’s nuts that you don’t have supply lists, etc yet. And ughh before/after care and waitlists, good luck!!

Women in sports being used as a pawn from people who otherwise don’t care about female athletes drives me crazy. I refuse to get into March Madness and college football, why are college kids more of a draw than the WNBA and there’s zero adult female equivalent for football. Even down to the more basic, non-money making levels- the boys’ soccer, basketball and baseball teams at my head high school have triple the attendance of the girls’ soccer, basketball and softball. Forget HS, let’s bring it down to 10U. My DDs’ softball team got our beautiful home field once all season, playing the rest of their home games on crappy fields around town with no bleachers, while the boys’ baseball had their Friday Night Lights and Saturday Matinees. So *please* stop pretending that you care about female athletes and female sports.

I hope TK WW doesnt fade. I try to keep the dailies going but when im off over the summer it’s harder to stay on an internet routine. You all were a major support when I went through my divorce. Even years before I gathered the courage to file, when I wasn’t ready to speak crappy exH behaviors out loud, this sounds silly, but there’d be a Prudie letter that i could’ve written with @mrsconn23 ‘s DTMF title and a bunch of comments from women I respected and trusted saying what the LW should do. And now that all of that is behind me (thank God), it’s just nice to have the check ins and the space to share 💕

Today’s news here is that my sister’s water broke around 3am, there will be a new sweetie to love soon. Her oldest, my nephew M, turned five on Sunday, so they’ll be birthday buds

on Aunt Eileen duty here hanging with him and my niece.

VarunaTT · July 29

@charlotte989875 Yep, that's it. I try to at least respect Buttigieg, but he REEKS to me, of cis male white privilege. He's the gay man who completely rejects his community and performs heteronormativity to sidle up to power and be an acceptable gay. This isn't his first comment about the community that has pissed me off and I'm sure it won't be his last. Inner fights in the queer community are almost always based in white supremacy and patriarchy and it infuriates me. I'm not perfect, but I sure AF know where my allegiance lays and it's not with anyone who speaks against transwomen in sports. Him and Newsome both have been so disappointing.

And honestly, yes to the other points you ladies brought up. No one gives a damn about women's sports until the trans issue is brought up (or medical science). And it's something like 500 athletes TOTAL that we know about. I will never forget seeing Fallon Fox speak. She flat out looked into the audience and said, "That woman sitting right there? If she's cis, she's making more testerone than I am, right now." She also spoke about some of the things she lost when she transitioned, such as aggression and strength. It was really wonderful.

It is summer, I forgot.

Since I WFH and don't have kids, the "school cycle" finally broke a few years ago for me.

ILoveBeachMusic · July 29

I too hope TK WW doesn't go away. I know it is such a much smaller group now though.

I got a lot done today before the boys arrive tomorrow. Their rooms are ready. I got a pedicure, picked up last minute groceries and picked up a donation to our YMCA fund raiser then delivered it to the Y.

K is a big transition. Good luck to both of your little guys. I don't know that DD has received school supply lists but I know she doesn't get teacher names until the week of school starting. Then they have a meet the teacher night. Our elementary school didn't tell you who your teacher was until the meet the teacher event two days before school started. They didn't want parents to have much time to complain and request moving a child.

The only reason I know when school starts around here is because I drive by one on my way to the Y. I have to slow down during school hours on school days. for that reason alone I prefer when school is out!

levioosa · July 29

Hi Everyone, I hope we don't all fade away either because I love hearing about your lives and you've been a huge support to me too.

Also agree on women's sports comments. I have a lot of thoughts about Pete too, but tbh if it comes down to him vs Gavin Newsom, I'd probably rather have Pete although Gavin might just have that extra petty mean streak we need. Ugh, just thinking about our options (that we will *hopefully* have) in 2-3 years is making me sick.

I'm back at work today. I'm okay, just really sad. I have a habit of intellectualizing feelings instead of feeling them, so I'm trying to sit in the feels. I'm still intellectualizing the hell out of everything but I think as long as I'm still feeling the suck and the sad it's okay? I was able to get in last minute to therapy yesterday which was good and I'll go again next week. I've been trying to do little things like listen to songs he showed me, or movies we used to watch together, but it just makes me really sad. I heard a new song on Saturday and I thought, "he would have really liked this," so I looked at the title and the name of the song was "Bereft of Reason" and goddamn if that isn't a perfect description of his life and the senseless tragedy of addiction. And I don't know if it says more about me, or more about other people (family) who keep telling me, "I keep forgetting it was your brother, too." Like yeah, we were estranged, and I handle stressful news eerily well, but I'm still a person and we grew up together and we were bonded through trauma and life, like it or not.

Unfortunately there's just some stuff I can't do for my parents. We need to have a biohazard team come out; mom saw the price and balked at it. She will have to call the home insurance to see if it's covered under their policy but unfortunately that's not something I can do for her. If it's not covered I'm just going to pay for it and talk to my grandparents about helping me out because tbh I can't afford it either.

ETA: telling the grandparents went okay. Grandpa wasn't an ass like we all were a little worried he would be. In his own way he tried to show support. Grandma is pretty upset and has been crying and staying up all night. =(

Anyways, SSDD here. Of course the first day back to work is my busiest day in awhile.

In another shocking first time ever of my life news, I went to the eye doctor on Saturday and...my vision improved? However my eyes are dry as shit so now I have new eye drops to use.

banana468 · July 29

K is a big deal!

FWIW, I've found that in our school system we either do not get a list or we get nothing until it's either days before or right after school starts. We get elementary school teacher assignments maybe a week or two before school starts and found out "kiva" assignments (the school teacher group for academics) in the same time frame.

Sadly I think the reality is that in a school district that has funds there is less push to send a list home to parents of what they need because there are supplies available in school. In places where the school can't give kids crayons and pencils and paper there's a need to get them for the kids.

Casadena · July 29

banana468 said:

K is a big deal!

FWIW, I've found that in our school system we either do not get a list or we get nothing until it's either days before or right after school starts. We get elementary school teacher assignments maybe a week or two before school starts and found out "kiva" assignments (the school teacher group for academics) in the same time frame.

Sadly I think the reality is that in a school district that has funds there is less push to send a list home to parents of what they need because there are supplies available in school. In places where the school can't give kids crayons and pencils and paper there's a need to get them for the kids.

We are lucky in that our district supplies everything so we dont' need to do that - but the school never told us that, just heard via neighbor parents. Totally good on not knowing who the teacher is until closer to the start. But we're 3 weeks away and have no idea what restrictions there are for lunch and snack (that we have to provide, according to neighbor parents), what dropoff/pickup procedures are, stuff like that. I'm sure a lot of kids can roll with changes easily, but that's the kind of thing that really stresses out G and it's hard to prepare him if we don't know. I jsut can't believe there's not a "here is what you need to know" sort of document for new students/families on the school website.

VarunaTT · July 29

OH, @ei34 I know it's not the same, but there is women's football. My buddy and I keep talking about going to a game because we have a team in StL. It's barely a season, it was less than 20 games and they play at a high school, I think. But it sounds hella fun and I'd rather support this. Buddy is a huge football fan and he really wants to go:

https://wfaprofootball.com/

VarunaTT · July 29

@levioosa I'm sorry you had to be back at work so soon and it's busy. I get what you mean about intellectualizing and then wondering about intellectualizing. Big hugs, you've been on my mind.

short+sassy · July 29

@VarunaTT, I know I post less often than I used to and somewhat recently. I have trouble motivating myself to do anything nowadays, even things I like such as this forum. But I promise I won't completely disappear. I like and care about you all. I also appreciate the support you all have given me over the years, when I have needed it.

I had a red letter day at Costco yesterday. They brought back two products I LOVE, but that have been missing for months. I was overjoyed when I found the first one (Potato Bakes from Three Bridges) and then couldn't believe it when I found the second one (Fruit Riot) on the same trip.

The Fruit Riot is frozen grapes that have a sweet/sour light fruit-flavored sprinkle on them. I can't eat more than about 6 of them before the sour flavor becomes too much, even though it's a great sour taste. It fully satiates any sweets craving I have for hardly any calories/carbs.

ei34 · July 30

I’m not positive about school supply lists being tied to income, the district I work in is quite affluent (like, Top 5 in the state) and school supply lists were on the district site in early July. Even millionaires like to know how many folders and notebooks they need when Staples is selling them for 50 cents each. And - more reality-based - the middle/upper-middle class districts my own kids, and my sisters’ live in, we’ve had our school supply lists for a few weeks. So in theory it makes sense, even if it hasn’t been the reality I’ve experienced.

I’ve definitely never known my kids’ teachers until a few days before school begins. Heck, on the opposite side of that- I have no idea who my students are right now. I know what classes I’m teaching, and what periods I’m working vs. prep period/hall duty. But not student names (with the exception of my two periods in the 7-student Life Skills class). I’ll get my class rosters a couple of days before the first day.

@casadena unfortunately I never knew if my kids were in nut-free classrooms until school began. Definitely something you should know sooner though, and not be left wondering. Up until about 2022 there were nut-free classrooms within my kids’ school. Since then it’s simply been that the school is nut-free. If that isn’t on G’s new school site, I’m sure the main office holds summer hours and someone could tell you. A specific classroom they couldn’t, but if it’s a school wide policy I’m sure they’d be able to confirm. Good luck. This is a big adjustment for G and for you!

ei34 · July 30

@levioosa love your way and I’m sorry you had to get back to work so soon (and that it was such a crazy day).

CharmedPam · July 30

@levioosa, sorry you had to jump back into work so soon. Has the memorial service taken place yet?

MyNameIsNot · July 30

ei34 said:

I’m not positive about school supply lists being tied to income, the district I work in is quite affluent (like, Top 5 in the state) and school supply lists were on the district site in early July. Even millionaires like to know how many folders and notebooks they need when Staples is selling them for 50 cents each. And - more reality-based - the middle/upper-middle class districts my own kids, and my sisters’ live in, we’ve had our school supply lists for a few weeks. So in theory it makes sense, even if it hasn’t been the reality I’ve experienced.

I’ve definitely never known my kids’ teachers until a few days before school begins. Heck, on the opposite side of that- I have no idea who my students are right now. I know what classes I’m teaching, and what periods I’m working vs. prep period/hall duty. But not student names (with the exception of my two periods in the 7-student Life Skills class). I’ll get my class rosters a couple of days before the first day.

@casadena unfortunately I never knew if my kids were in nut-free classrooms until school began. Definitely something you should know sooner though, and not be left wondering. Up until about 2022 there were nut-free classrooms within my kids’ school. Since then it’s simply been that the school is nut-free. If that isn’t on G’s new school site, I’m sure the main office holds summer hours and someone could tell you. A specific classroom they couldn’t, but if it’s a school wide policy I’m sure they’d be able to confirm. Good luck. This is a big adjustment for G and for you!

Funny story, at least to me as a non-parent. My sister's kids go back to school later this week. Their district has a policy that they don't release teacher assignments until two days before classes start, I guess because they have a lot of dramatic parents who want to insist their kid get moved to this teacher or be in the same class with that friend. Anyway, they use one of those online portal software programs. Somehow someone accidentally released all the data into the portal last week and some of the parents happened to discover it. It turned into a huge drama.

levioosa · July 30

@CharmedPam I don't think we're having one. Mom and Dad are feeling really sad and bitter about his "friends" and they don't want to see anyone from his past. I get it, and there's not really a right or wrong answer here. I think it would be helpful to at least do a family memorial service but we haven't decided on that either. There wouldn't be a rush for that though.

banana468 · July 30

levioosa said:

@CharmedPam I don't think we're having one. Mom and Dad are feeling really sad and bitter about his "friends" and they don't want to see anyone from his past. I get it, and there's not really a right or wrong answer here. I think it would be helpful to at least do a family memorial service but we haven't decided on that either. There wouldn't be a rush for that though.

It's so hard when a passing is related to addiction. I'm so sorry @levioosa.

By my armchair assessment which is worth nothing you're handling everything so logically so I hope that continues for you but that you also have an outlet for yourself.

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