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Wedding Woes

Back off, let her figure it out

Dear Prudence,

I recently gifted my good friend a gift voucher for a spa treatment. I told her that I’d love to come with her when she goes, and I’d pay for my own treatment while she gets hers. It’s been about a month and although she told me she was really grateful for the voucher and excited for us to get a treatment together, she hasn’t suggested a time for us to meet up.

Here’s my question: Even though I gave her the voucher, should I still follow up and suggest a day and time to get the treatments done? Or, given that I gave her the voucher, should she be the one to suggest a day and time? She works tricky hours and mine are a lot more flexible, so it would be much easier for me to work around her availability.

—Waiting for My Spa Day

Re: Back off, let her figure it out

  • Back off. I am SUPER picky about massages, spa treatments, etc and I have been known to just not use gifts like this in the past. 

    But yah it’s been a month and she has a tricky schedule- leave it alone. 
  • It's a gift. She gets to decide when and how to use it. It might not be good timing, or she might prefer to go alone. 
  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Leave it alone. If anything book your own treatment in a month or two and let her know you'll be there if she would like to join (assuming this is like a day spa situation and not just a massage/facial parlor). If this is just like a Massage Envy, then this is weird and you shouldn't bring it up at all and let her use it at her leisure. 


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  • The LW shouldn't bring it up either way.  But a month isn't that much time anyway, especially for someone who works tricky hours.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with the title and would back off.  I do occasionally treat myself to a facial but the quiet (alone) time in the serene spa before and after the treatment itself are incredible and part of the experience imo. 

    And even if LW’s friend doesn’t desire the solo recharge - at the end of the day it’s like any other gift one has given. You gave it, stop following up. If it had been a sweater in a certain color I doubt you’d be haranguing her to find out when she’ll wear it next, to coordinate outfits.   
  • I haven't had a spa treatment in forever and if they weren't regular I think I'd want one alone.


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