Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I broke up with an ex who strung me along about marriage for years. So I began this summer intending to date around and ease into a steady relationship. I’m in my mid-30s and outgoing enough to meet men organically, but bachelors in my city tend to be flaky and unreliable.
I was going on regular dates with a fun younger guy in my neighborhood for a couple of months before I left for a work conference in a faraway city. Well, I hit it off with a man there, who is closer to my age and compatible with me in terms of values, culture, and lifestyle. After spending a few days together, we got intimate and had a great time.
The problem is, now that I’m back home … my neighbor wants to be my boyfriend, and my distant lover wants to keep up daily communication. While Contestant #1 is exciting and passionate, he’s not quite ready to settle down, and I won’t be able to see Contestant #2 for months besides FaceTime calls, which is NOT the kind of relationship I want. I’d like to be real with these guys about my goals, which may require letting them both down. But how can I do so compassionately?
—LoveGirl