Dear Prudence,
My sister has an Australian shepherd, “Bertie,” who is like a dog from a kids’ book. Her family lives in a very rural area, so the kids often play outside, and my sister and her husband check on them regularly. Bertie is a herding dog and firmly keeps them together, and away from things like water and the driveway if a tractor is coming. She cuddles them when they’re sad or upset and helps keep them out of trouble. On a recent family vacation to a lake house, she tucked my kids into her “herd” of children, and they were delighted. We always had an adult outside when the kids were there because of the risks of the lake. Bertie was the best backup and kept the kids endlessly happy outside and away from risks. Also, herding dogs have tons of energy and need attention, so the kids’ screen time plummeted between cousins, dogs, and outdoor adventures—including for our youngest, who’s often scared of new places and wants to be inside on the iPad. This was wonderful, but it was also a vacation, not real life.
My sister has long urged me to get a dog to help with my kids, but we live on a half-acre lot in the suburbs. My husband and I both work away from the house, and I do not have the time or skill needed to train a working dog. But now, my husband and kids have added to the chorus. I grew up with amazing working dogs, but my current life isn’t suited to one. And dogs like Bertie don’t just happen; it takes a lot of work and training. How do I shut down this pressure campaign at home? I’d be OK with a smaller pet-type dog, but everyone has their hearts set on Bertie 2.0.