Dear Prudence,
My husband and I are both atheists, but most of my family are extremely religious. It’s never really been an issue, but things came to a head recently when my boorish, MAGA-supporting brother-in-law expressed the opinion that our son was bound to burn in hell for being gay.
My husband was quick to respond in very strong terms and, in the course of that argument, said something to the effect that he wished my brother-in-law’s religion were the most ridiculous thing about him. My mother and sister, who were both present, leapt on this as proof that my husband held their religion in contempt and demanded an apology. He responded that if they were going to get upset by that but not about the “caveman imbecile abusing my son,” they could “f— themselves.”
Needless to say, this has created enormous drama. I agree with my husband, but I also think that it’s true that he holds large parts of my family in contempt, even though he is usually quite polite about it. I don’t think he’ll apologize (I think he’d love a permanent rift), but I don’t want this rift to persist. Is there some middle ground?
—Angry Words