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Wedding Woes

omg butt out

Dear Prudence,

My mother has always been very involved in her Catholic church. I’m recovering after a childhood filled with propaganda about shame and celibacy, but that’s not my reason for writing in.

Just under two months ago, one of my mother’s closest friends, “Sister Mary Clarence,” passed away at the age of 90. My mother had known her since childhood, as she was one of her teachers at her private Catholic school. The insane thing is that now my mother has gotten it into her head that she needs to become a nun herself to continue Sister Mary Clarence’s work. Although she is devout, my mother would be ill-suited to a life in a convent. How can I talk her out of this?

Re: omg butt out

  • Your mother will need to find out for herself whether she's suited to convent life or not. If she has her mind set on this, you won't be able to persuade her otherwise and will just make her more determine to go through with it.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Agree with the title, butt out 
  • I am not sure how you'd solve a problem like Maria.....
  • I would gently suggest mom start working with a grief counselor. This sounds like one of those times where grief makes people do odd things. Deciding to become a nun late in life is generally not something you should do impulsively. 
  • I would gently suggest mom start working with a grief counselor. This sounds like one of those times where grief makes people do odd things. Deciding to become a nun late in life is generally not something you should do impulsively. 
    I suspect the Catholic Church doesn't allow women to become nuns impulsively either.  I feel like it's probably a long process, though don't know that for sure.

    I'd Google it because now I'm curious but am too afraid of what the Internet would start pushing at me.
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 21
    I would gently suggest mom start working with a grief counselor. This sounds like one of those times where grief makes people do odd things. Deciding to become a nun late in life is generally not something you should do impulsively. 
    I suspect the Catholic Church doesn't allow women to become nuns impulsively either.  I feel like it's probably a long process, though don't know that for sure.

    I'd Google it because now I'm curious but am too afraid of what the Internet would start pushing at me.
    Yeah that was gonna be my take. The convent is most likely not gonna take her on if she's not suited. They can't take young women who are well-suited if the community can't absorb their student debt; they're not going to take on any woman if it seems like she's going to be more of a liability to community life than an asset. And everywhere has a novitiate and sometimes even a stage before that called postulancy. You're going to spend at least a full year and probably two where you assess your life there and they assess you.
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