Dear Prudence,
Recently, my husband became physically abusive, and I left our home for my safety. For the past several weeks, I’ve been staying with my dad and his wife while I earn enough money for moving fees and a safety deposit on a new place. My dad seems very happy to have me here and somewhere safe, but his wife resents me being here. I do my best to be a good houseguest by staying out of her way, keeping the guest room neat, being quiet, helping with chores, etc., but she barely acknowledges me except to say “Hello” or “Good night.” However, she does complain about me regularly to my father, who then relays back to me everything she says (“Wife said you used the ironing board when SHE wanted to use it”). I try to get out of the house to be out of her way, but that doesn’t really change much of anything.
Other than just sticking it out with gritted teeth, is there anything else I can do to make this easier? I understand she probably wants alone time with my dad, but at the same time, her own adult son lives with them (the son and I get along well, so he’s not a problem) and my dad loves him like his own son. I’ve offered to move out to a friend’s place, but my dad has outright said he’d be too worried about my ex finding me there (since ex knows the friend’s address and has shown up there looking for me). Ultimately, I guess this is a minor problem, but I hate feeling so resented when I’m already dealing with a hellish situation with my ex.
—No Safe Landing Spots