Shut that down asap

Casadena · August 14

Dear Prudence,

My husband and I are trying to start a family. The problem is that my mother-in-law has taken it upon herself to dispense all manner of advice on how I can get pregnant (i.e., most effective sex positions, what time of the day/month to have sex, what foods I should be eating). It’s thoroughly weirding me out.

Asking my husband to get his mother to shut up has been useless; he tells me to let her talk and not respond. As far as I’m concerned, what she is doing is gross and completely inappropriate, and I am this close to telling her off. Should I go that route, or insist my husband be a man and tell his mother to mind her own business?

—Trying to Conceive and Cringing

VarunaTT · August 14

Don't use the "be a man" terminology, b/c that's bullshit. His family, his problem. And if he won't take care of it, stop being around your MIL and bean dip when it's unavoidable, if you want to be polite. If not, a firm, "Please stop giving me advice on how to get pregnant", periodt.

banana468 · August 14

If he doesn't shut it down then you have two options. Ask her nicely to stop, or meet her match.

Tell her you're trying it in a ton of positions, bought a swing, and that if you played your cards right the very seat she's sitting in while visiting you may be where her future grandchild was conceived from the previous night's adventure. But don't worry. While her son has amazing output volume it was thoroughly cleaned before her visit.

charlotte989875 · August 15

banana468 said:

If he doesn't shut it down then you have two options. Ask her nicely to stop, or meet her match.

Tell her you're trying it in a ton of positions, bought a swing, and that if you played your cards right the very seat she's sitting in while visiting you may be where her future grandchild was conceived from the previous night's adventure. But don't worry. While her son has amazing output volume it was thoroughly cleaned before her visit.

This is the way. Ask her nicely to stop. Then word for word.

Casadena · August 15

WHYYYYYYY do people tell other people about their family planning. This MIL is wild and i agree with Banana's script if asking nicely doesn't work

banana468 · August 15

Casadena said:

WHYYYYYYY do people tell other people about their family planning. This MIL is wild and i agree with Banana's script if asking nicely doesn't work

I feel like it's because until you experience it the concept of wanting kids is this puppies and rainbows feeling. Plus, mothers can be all up in the business of their kids.

MyNameIsNot · August 16

I'd be seriously considering whether I want to raise a child with a man who 1) tells his mom too much personal business and 2) isn't willing to stand up to her when she's being completely inappropriate.

Maybe this is an isolated situation, but this is usually part of a pattern, and it usually doesn't end here. This is the same MIL who will stick her nose in every parenting decision and undermine you every step of the way.

knottieb7532df6c2debb88 · August 19

That definitely crosses a boundary. Your husband needs to step up here just like in, issues get resolved faster when the right person takes responsibility. He should make it clear to his mother that her advice is inappropriate and unwelcome.

knottie0f6160bb1f2e25fa · August 23

Don't do it there

Shut that down asap

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