Therapy if she's willing?

Casadena · August 28

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I have a 6-year-old daughter, “Emilia,” who plays soccer. The problem is that my wife will frequently become loud and belligerent when she thinks the referee made the wrong call, which is often. Once, she even tried to get in his face, which resulted in her nearly getting ejected from the game, and our daughter’s team almost being made to forfeit.

Emilia has become so upset by her mother’s behavior that she says she doesn’t want to play soccer anymore. I’ve tried talking to my wife about how this is affecting not only our child, but all those who are playing and everyone around us. She responds that someone has to do it, and says the referee “has it in” for Emilia. What can I do to help my wife get her anger issues under control?

—Husband of a Soccer Hooligan

banana468 · August 28

Casadena said:

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have a 6-year-old daughter, “Emilia,” who plays soccer. The problem is that my wife will frequently become loud and belligerent when she thinks the referee made the wrong call, which is often. Once, she even tried to get in his face, which resulted in her nearly getting ejected from the game, and our daughter’s team almost being made to forfeit.
Emilia has become so upset by her mother’s behavior that she says she doesn’t want to play soccer anymore. I’ve tried talking to my wife about how this is affecting not only our child, but all those who are playing and everyone around us. She responds that someone has to do it, and says the referee “has it in” for Emilia. What can I do to help my wife get her anger issues under control?
—Husband of a Soccer Hooligan

SO GLAD that our town has rules.

If you insult the refs you can get kicked out of the game - full stop.

I'd be up front here on a few things
-Her behavior is repugnant. These are kids and referees are usually underpaid teens in and of themselves especially when you're talking kids.
-She's not doing herself any favors because eventually that child will be known as 'the one with the belligerent mother'.
-Doing this is indicative that your wife is not a good person. If she's nice to you and awful on the field she's not a nice person.

So be clear about it. Tell her that her behavior is an embarrassment. And look further at any rules of the league. There's a decent chance that your wife and daughter could be kicked out. But also say that you will not be attending the games to support your daughter and position yourself near your wife. This is not going to get better as your child gets older and there will be harsher consequences.

charlotte989875 · August 28

Wife needs to watch the video of Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach eating lollipops and talking about giving them to other parents at soccer games so they keep their mouths shut. If an actual Olympian can keep quiet when their kid is playing wife can too.

Therapy if she's willing?

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