9/11 Thursday

Re: 9/11 Thursday

• VarunaTT member

  

  September 11 edited September 11

  I'm exhausted.  I'm checking in with everyone to see if they care if I take tomorrow off.  I've been through the wringer the last 3 months and the last 2 weeks have been even more intense.  I need some time to just breathe and rest my body.  I've been existing in a low but constant anxiety for awhile now and it's finally releasing.  Trekking up/down 66 stairs multiple times a day, while it is good for my body, is also tiring for my body.  I'm just simply emotionally, mentally, and physically run down and it's starting to show.
  
  A friend had a small gift for me that I went to pick up last night at my hangout place.  It was a mini record player and it actually has 3 mini records that it "plays".  It's ridiculously cute and thoughtful.  I also hung out for a few minutes with people that I used to be very close with...until I got sober and they couldn't transition the friendship away from alcohol activities.  I was just chatting and I just felt so exhausted by them and their conversation.  I can't quite put my finger on why, but my brain was just like, You used to want to be "in" this group so badly and now they're just so....that and I can't run away fast enough.  One of them asked me to send pictures of what I was putting in the garage sale.  I very tiredly said, I'll send pics and whatever you want, you can have.  Then I got home and thought, "Why did I say that?  I would like to make some $$ on these things to purchase some replacement furniture that fits better into this space".  And a very jaded cynical tired voice piped up and said, "They won't remember the conversation anyway, just take it to the garage sale and don't worry about it.  Even if they do remember, do you really care?"  So, that's what I'm going to do.
  
  Otherwise, SSDD.  Hopefully today is my Friday.
  
  ETA:  I don't have much to say about CK.  He promoted and cosplayed violence and violence came to his front door, which he never thought would happen.  I'm not numb to it; I also feel empathy/sympathy for the children that were shot at the school mere moments later that HE wouldn't have had any empathy/sympathy for.

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• levioosa member

  

  September 11

  I'm thinking of everyone who was closely affected by 9/11 today. *Hugs* to the knotties who struggle with grief and loss extra today. 
  
  I'm not numb to the events of yesterday, more just resigned. The video popped up on my feed yesterday before I realized what it was and I saw it. I knew instantly he was gone. All of the debate about him surviving was ridiculous. I feel absolutely zero empathy for him. Do I feel for family, who just lost a father and a husband? Sure. People can be loved, and they can be missed. But if you spend your life spouting the most hateful, bigoted, awful drivel, literally pushing to incite political violence, well, *throws hands up*. I am also just so frustrated with his death blowing up in Republican spaces, meanwhile THE SAME DAY an incident at a school basically went by with little to no notice. Republicans didn't care about George Floyd, they don't care about children at schools, they don't care about Gaza. Democratic officials were murdered last month in a political assasination. Crickets. But a white Christian Nationalist dies and they're all wringing their hands. Please, spare me. I am very worried about what justification this is going to give the demon spawn at the top of this administration to make even more heinous moves. 
  
  Besides the fact that the world is an absolute dumpster fire, not much else is happening here. I didn't sleep super well, probably because I was processing the nine million different life altering world news events that happened in the last 24-48 hours. I can't wait for the day to be over so I can get to bed early. We have all of these annual "trainings" at work that are staggered and they feel like whack a mole. They just keep spawning no matter how many I do, and half of them aren't even relevant. They take so much time, too. I finally thought I got threw them, I went on "vacation" (I refuse to call my week off sick with COVID vacation, lol), and I came back to another ten. Boo. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  September 11

  I can't say anything else that y'all haven't said. It is all mind numbing. While I wasn't directly affected by 9/11, hugs to those of you who were there or nearby. H was traveling at the time and that was stressful. Our youngest son developed anxiety over the whole event ( he was in 2nd grade) because he was worried that Daddy wasn't going to come home. I have so little hope for our country at the moment.

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• ei34 member

  

  September 11

  Thanks banana / all  I did arrive at work late, the FDNY memorial mass I attend is in Brooklyn and traffic wasn't terrible getting to work.  The kids were sad to miss it, but they FaceTimed my parents on the drive to school so they could all say a Hail Mary together, and we'll go by the house tonight to drop off my dad's favorite baked good. 
  
  I'm sickened at the outpouring of sudden concern over g*n violence from people who usually don't flinch.  Nothing surprises me about America anymore but it's still disappointing, maddening, horrifying. 
  
  @VarunaTT smart to take a day, you've been through a lot lately
  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 11

  ei34 said:

  Thanks banana / all  I did arrive at work late, the FDNY memorial mass I attend is in Brooklyn and traffic wasn't terrible getting to work.  The kids were sad to miss it, but they FaceTimed my parents on the drive to school so they could all say a Hail Mary together, and we'll go by the house tonight to drop off my dad's favorite baked good. 
  
  I'm sickened at the outpouring of sudden concern over g*n violence from people who usually don't flinch.  Nothing surprises me about America anymore but it's still disappointing, maddening, horrifying. 
  
  @VarunaTT smart to take a day, you've been through a lot lately
  
  

  Agreed.  If there is action that comes out of yesterday's events that helps to move the country in a direction more anti violence and anti gun then I'll be for it.  There seems to be an accepted norm right now and the actions by those in charge are IMO abhorrent. 

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• VarunaTT member

  

  September 11 edited September 11

  Y'all, I hate to be this person, but this isn't going to lead to reform regarding firearms, it's going to be a Franz Ferdinand moment.  He's going to be martyred and used to justify so much violence against marginalized and liberal folx.  They're doing it already, with Mace screeching that the "Democrats have to own this".  When she was asked if that meant the Republicans owned the murder and attempted murder of the MN senators, she just screamed some nonsense (I truly couldn't understand her, but I know it was nonsense b/c accountability what?) back.
  
  This is what they wanted to happen with the attempt on DJT, it didn't work, so now they have this.

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• levioosa member

  

  September 11

  VarunaTT said:

  Y'all, I hate to be this person, but this isn't going to lead to reform regarding firearms, it's going to be a Franz Ferdinand moment.  He's going to be martyred and used to justify so much violence against marginalized and liberal folx.  They're doing it already, with Mace screeching that the "Democrats have to own this".  When she was asked if that meant the Republicans owned the murder and attempted murder of the MN senators, she just screamed some nonsense (I truly couldn't understand her, but I know it was nonsense b/c accountability what?) back.
  
  This is what they wanted to happen with the attempt on DJT, it didn't work, so now they have this.

  Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel about it too. I fucking hate it here.

  
  

  
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 11

  VarunaTT said:

  Y'all, I hate to be this person, but this isn't going to lead to reform regarding firearms, it's going to be a Franz Ferdinand moment.  He's going to be martyred and used to justify so much violence against marginalized and liberal folx.  They're doing it already, with Mace screeching that the "Democrats have to own this".  When she was asked if that meant the Republicans owned the murder and attempted murder of the MN senators, she just screamed some nonsense (I truly couldn't understand her, but I know it was nonsense b/c accountability what?) back.
  
  This is what they wanted to happen with the attempt on DJT, it didn't work, so now they have this.

  I also agree with you.
  
  School shootings are a regular occurrence.   Children are dying and while that occurs there has been only one significant movement in legislation to change gun ownership and safety.
  
  My comment was that there are a lot of people in charge who are making a lot of comments about blame but not about coming together to solve problems.  That's what leaders are supposed to do.  

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• ei34 member

  

  September 12

  Oh I don’t think it will bring change either.  Even the outpouring on social media wasn’t “gun violence must end!”, it was “stop celebrating someone’s death” and “the left is just proving how crazy they are” and “political violence is so wrong”. At least on my feed. (The last one extra curious considering the same people were silent when Melissa Hortman was killed.)

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• short+sassy member

  

  September 12

  I think an important part of trying to stop gun violence and other crimes is a substantial expansion and support of mental health care.
  
  But that's never been a priority for even Democrats, so I know it's just a pipe dream.

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 12

  short+sassy said:

  I think an important part of trying to stop gun violence and other crimes is a substantial expansion and support of mental health care.
  
  But that's never been a priority for even Democrats, so I know it's just a pipe dream.

  That's a major issue. 
  
  We know that the mentally ill are more likely to be victims of crime but there are still instances, data points if you will where people have come forward to say that they are taking care of a mentally ill person who is a danger to themself and society and there isn't a path forward. 
  
  In addition, there are far too many instances where people become radicalized with weapons and / or radicalized AND they used weapons.   
  
  And we need to acknowledge that there are too many in the hands of the wrong people.

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• short+sassy member

  

  September 12

  banana468 said:

  short+sassy said:

  I think an important part of trying to stop gun violence and other crimes is a substantial expansion and support of mental health care.
  
  But that's never been a priority for even Democrats, so I know it's just a pipe dream.

  That's a major issue. 
  
  We know that the mentally ill are more likely to be victims of crime but there are still instances, data points if you will where people have come forward to say that they are taking care of a mentally ill person who is a danger to themself and society and there isn't a path forward. 
  
  In addition, there are far too many instances where people become radicalized with weapons and / or radicalized AND they used weapons.   
  
  And we need to acknowledge that there are too many in the hands of the wrong people.

  
  I was especially thinking that the school shooters often seem to be a fellow student.  After the fact, there's all this talk about "the signs" and that they had clearly been mentally struggling for years.
  
  How about there be a much better system for getting kids the mental help they need before it gets to a crisis level!  The horrific violence is the extreme.  But there are plenty of kids with serious mental struggles happening during a vulnerable time that is shaping their future.
  
  But it's bad and unsupportive system for anyone who needs mental health help for their own wellbeing.  Everyone, including adults, need better access to that kind of help when they need it.
  
  -----
  
  I read a heartbreaking local story a few years ago that did a great job of explaining just how bad the mental health crisis can be.
  
  This man started hearing voices in jr. high that were usually telling him to do bad things.  His mother sought help for him, but there just wasn't much.  He was given all kinds of medications to try and find an answer.  Some of them helped, but none of them kept the voices away 100% of the time.
  
  His mother never stopped trying to find help.  Once he was an adult, he begged for help also because most of the time he was lucid and could ignore the voices.  But he knew he couldn't always control them and was so afraid of hurting his mom or sister or someone else because that was what they sometimes wanted him to do.
  
  His mother wanted a permanent placement for him in an institution, and he wanted that also.  But there are shockingly few beds available for that if you can't pay for private facilities...and most people can't.  If I'm remembering correctly, it was about 400 beds for the whole state of Louisiana and the waiting list was years long.  Meanwhile, this man is a potential danger to society.
  
  On bad occasions, he'd be put into a 72-hour psych hold.  But once that time was up, he had to be released because there was nowhere to send him except back home to his mothers.  He always lived with her, he wasn't capable of living alone because of his mental state.
  
  Then the day came when the voices told him to kill himself by burning his mother's house down.  She was home at the time and he still had enough wherewithal to beg her to leave.  She refused to, but he forced her out of the door.  Not to hurt her, but so she wouldn't be in the house when he set it on fire.  He was crying to her that he had to burn the house down and stay in it.  That he couldn't stop himself from doing it.  Tragically, that was what happened. 

  

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• levioosa member

  

  September 12

  I really hate the "mental health is the problem" debate. Is mental health a contributing factor? Sure. However it's rooted in systemic racism, disenfranchisement, a lack of basic resources like food, clean water, shelter, healthcare. Most people have limited to no vacation (we could get into a whole debate about the fact that leisure time is being squeezed out of the middle and lower classes even though we're the most productive we've ever been). We are not the only country with guns. We are the only "well-developed" (and I use that term loosely) country without universal healthcare and diverse social safety nets. Mental health issues exist in other places too. But we are the only ones with this amount of gun violence. We won't legislate and we won't provide basic resources to our citizens. Then we decry mental health like there aren't obvious solutions and management strategies. We villainize mental health, we make it impossible get real care, and we stigmatize mental health to the point where even people struggling are too afraid to seek care and the ones who do get some "care" are stuck in a broken system. We have zero legislation about profiting off of halfway housing and "rehab centers." We don't allow people on disability to have any assets or really move ahead in life, but we also don't give enough to live above the poverty line. I'm sick of seeing mental health as an excuse to wash our hands of any real meaningful change. It's a red herring that is meant to distract from the utter embarrassment that we are as a country which should be caring for its citizens and instead is failing them completely.
  
  As an aside, I read a fascinating article about schizophrenia and its manifestations the other day. Researchers looked at the hallucinations of people living with schizophrenia in America vs other countries. In America, the hallucinations were harmful, violent and threatening. In the other countries examined, the hallucinations were calm or just benign comments or were even positive, like loved ones who were ever present.

  
  

  
  

  

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