Dear Prudence,
I (cis woman) hear this term a lot these days, “emotional affair.” Is that really a thing? I ask because I was friends with a married man a few years ago. We shared a love for live music and often saw each other at gigs. We exchanged listening lists and CDs; we emailed about life. I was in a relationship with a boyfriend who was cheating, but I didn’t know that at the time. I just knew the boyfriend had become unreliable and frustrating. My married friend and I emailed about that, about financial problems, work issues, etc. He rarely said anything even mildly negative about his wife. There was no sex involved with me and the married friend, and no talk of it.
Yes, we sometimes intentionally met up at gigs, saved a seat for each other, etc. The only time we were alone was once for breakfast on his birthday at my apartment. Nothing happened other than eating and conversation. His wife eventually found our emails and was so upset and angry that he stopped emailing me. I didn’t hear from him for four years. A couple of weeks ago, I saw him in public. We talked for a few minutes and caught up. His wife was there and later was so upset that he said that if I saw him again, I was not to speak to him, ever. Apparently, his wife thinks we had an emotional affair. Your opinion?