No need to say anything

Re: No need to say anything

• banana468 member

  

  September 18

  Is this the norm for your social circles?  If dry weddings are the norm then it's NBD but if they aren't, you should tell people what you intend to do and alert your venue.
  
  I wouldn't hate a dry wedding but I'd find it to be off from what our families and social circles do.  So if I showed up to my brother's wedding to find out it was dry and he didn't tell me in advance I'd think it was weird.  We'd have a good time but it would be head-tilting. 
  
  
  

  Report3 Reply
• charlotte989875 member

  

  September 18

  Have whatever kind of wedding you want, but know that having a dry wedding won’t stop them from having drinks before hand. 

  
  

  This is probably too snarky but every time I hear someone doing a dry wedding because “people can’t handle themselves” it just sounds like an excuse not to have to pay for a bar tab. You don’t have to have alcohol at a wedding, but making it sound like it’s your only option for avoiding awkward behavior is nonsense. People will drink before, or act out while sober, or do any number of things you can’t co tell on your wedding day. Have booze or don’t- but recognize so much of how people act is not in your control. 

  Report6 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  September 18

  I would tell people. It's pretty common in my group to get hotels near the venue, arrange shuttles or ubers, etc for weddings. I'd go to a dry wedding and have fun, but I'd be annoyed that I'd spent the money on a hotel when I could have driven home. Even more if I had arranged overnight child care. 
  
  In my experience, dry weddings are also a different vibe. Knowing it will be a shorter night might help everyone plan better. 

  Report3 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  September 18

  MyNameIsNot said:

  I would tell people. It's pretty common in my group to get hotels near the venue, arrange shuttles or ubers, etc for weddings. I'd go to a dry wedding and have fun, but I'd be annoyed that I'd spent the money on a hotel when I could have driven home. Even more if I had arranged overnight child care. 
  
  In my experience, dry weddings are also a different vibe. Knowing it will be a shorter night might help everyone plan better. 

  An additional good point.   
  
  I've never attended a dry wedding.  But plans would likely change depending on what was offered.
  
  
  

  Report3 Reply
• mrsconn23 member

  

  September 18

  If you don’t want to make a big announcement, you can always do an insert with the invitation outlining the schedule and include the menu and beverage on it. But you probably won’t be able to stop anyone from pregaming or bringing a flask (or trunk beer…I have a friend from a catholic family and someone is always designated to bring the cooler in their trunk for funerals). 
  

  Report1 Reply
• levioosa member

  

  September 18

  Good points @charlotte989875 @MyNameIsNot.
  
  If a wedding is close enough to drive home, there would otherwise be zero reason for me to spend the $200-300+ for a hotel and I'd be a little annoyed at spending that money unnecessarily. Sober event? No problem, but I would like to know so I could plan accordingly and save money. 
  
  If you have people who are huge drinkers, they're going to have drinks before hand. Some might even bring a flask. Some could even leave mid event, go get some drinks, and then return. So don't think a dry wedding is going to equal a sober one. 

  
  

  
  

  

  Report4 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  September 18

  mrsconn23 said:

  If you don’t want to make a big announcement, you can always do an insert with the invitation outlining the schedule and include the menu and beverage on it. But you probably won’t be able to stop anyone from pregaming or bringing a flask (or trunk beer…I have a friend from a catholic family and someone is always designated to bring the cooler in their trunk for funerals). 
  

  I have a friend who got married when we were young and broke, so it was a dry wedding on a Sunday at like 11. Some of her family had stayed the weekend but checked out of their hotel Sunday morning and were driving home after, so all the leftover booze from their party weekend was in the parking lot. The venue was so not amused by a bunch of drunk rednecks wandering around in the middle of the day.

  Report3 Reply
• short+sassy member

  

  September 19

  Not a wedding, but these kinds of discussions always remind me of a tirade one of the managers (P) had at a previous company I worked at.
  
  He was a bit of a hot head and sometimes too blunt for a professional setting.
  
  Our corporate headquarters were in Seattle and had about 200 people.  We were the only other office they had and it was opened for one specific NOLA project.  There were about 25 people in our office.
  
  The third year I worked there, corporate decided they were going to keep the Holiday parties dry.  We all got the e-mail at the same time.
  
  He immediately went screaming into the Big Boss's (D) office.  That he wasn't going to stand for those stuffy AHs in See-AT-le (said with drawn out sneer) telling us we needed to have a dry party.  They don't understand how it is in New Orleans and we don't DO that here.
  
  He told D to talk to (insert CEO and VP's name) about it or he would.  Nobody wanted that, especially not D.
  
  I don't know what transpired after that.  But Seattle had a dry party...and we didn't, lol.
  

  

  Report0 Reply