Dear Prudence,
I’m seriously considering plastic surgery and my husband is mad about it. He gives a hundred reasons, new ones every time.
It’s not about money. I’ve been saving my personal money towards it, I budgeted for extra expenses and complications. I’m 52, I know I can’t buy youth. I’m keeping my expectations reasonable while considering lipo and/or a tummy tuck. I’m at a healthy weight, active, have great muscle tone and I eat carefully, but that can’t do everything. I was shopping around for the right cosmetic practice, but now we’re really fighting about this topic.
In menopause, it felt like suddenly all my body fat migrated to my belly. Both my doctor and the menopause specialist I saw said the exact same things: I shouldn’t lose weight at my current size, this issue can’t really be fixed hormonally, and it’s common but not a big deal. But it’s a big deal to me. I feel like my face, butt and limbs are suddenly bony, but my belly is rounder than I’d like.
I’m not interested in fillers, and I don’t need to augment my breasts or butt. I know I’m aging, and I’m mostly OK with that, visually. But I would love this gone, I hate the way I’m conscious of it in missionary sex. I hate how it feels running or doing yoga. I hate how my belly looks in clothes. I don’t really understand why this is such a huge upsetting thing to my husband. How do I cool down this conversation and try to get him to understand?