Lots of "everyone looks different" talks beforehand?

Re: Lots of "everyone looks different" talks beforehand?

• banana468 member

  

  September 26

  Can you do more video chat conversations?   Talk to your kids and him at the same time? 
  
  The kids may learn a bit more as they get older but it's going to need to come with talks and exposure and your brother's input on who he is.
  
  That said, there's a judgy part of me that wants to say "Dude, if you don't want people to be frightened then don't modify yourself (like the teeth) to the point that you look so different to a child."  At that age I was terrified of vampires so sharp teeth would freak me o ut. 

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• downtondiva member

  

  September 28

  I did not know that eyeballs could be tattooed. I have questions.
  
  Anyway, if your youngest was so scared that they were having nightmares and wetting the bed, I think you should give the kids some more time before trying to reintroduce them to your brother. I can't really blame them for not being convinced by your just saying that he's nice (it wouldn't have worked on me at that age). And when you do, I think @banana468's suggestion of video chats is worth considering. Even that may take some convincing for your children, but at least if he isn't right in the room with them, he may eventually not seem quite as scary or threatening.

  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  September 30

  I was whatever about body mod mentions until the eyeballs which made me have a visceral reaction. But that's on me because I cannot imagine voluntarily having anything done to my eyeball that wasn't a medical necessity. I have to close my eyes during horror movies where anything eyeball related is involved. 
  
  I think there's a way to have the conversation with your kids that "some people look different" without also re-traumatizing them. And having a conversation with your brother that you are trying to introduce them to differences in appearance, but they may be a little too young. He can't be unaware that to young children his appearance might be a little unsettling.  

  
  

  
  

  

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• short+sassy member

  

  September 30

  levioosa said:

  I was whatever about body mod mentions until the eyeballs which made me have a visceral reaction. But that's on me because I cannot imagine voluntarily having anything done to my eyeball that wasn't a medical necessity. I have to close my eyes during horror movies where anything eyeball related is involved. 
  
  I think there's a way to have the conversation with your kids that "some people look different" without also re-traumatizing them. And having a conversation with your brother that you are trying to introduce them to differences in appearance, but they may be a little too young. He can't be unaware that to young children his appearance might be a little unsettling.  

  Considering how much the LW's children were affected, he's probably had some children burst into tears when he is out in public.
  
  
  This my friend's unsettling "eye" story during a medical procedure.  For whatever reason, she is just one of those people who can't stay under anesthesia for very long.  She also has a medical issue that causes the skin right under her eyes to sag.  It got to a point where it was affecting her tear ducts, so she needed to get the skin lifted.
  
  She awoke halfway through the surgery.  Fortunately, the pain blocking part still worked (phew!).  But she could see every time the needle was coming toward her eye.
  
  This is the exchange she heard between the eye surgeon and the anesthesiologist.  The surgeon told the anesthesiologist to give her more because she was awake.  The anesthesiologist said he couldn't because she was already at the max.  The surgeon got a bit frustrated and said something like, "But she's awake!  What am I supposed to do?"  The anesthesiologist's reply is an exact quote, "Sew faster."

  

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