Dear Prudence,
My wife and I are in our mid-60s and are fortunate to have a close-knit core friend group, most of whom we’ve known since high school. We are like family in so many ways, including the occasional lost soul whom we probably wouldn’t have chosen as a friend today, but continue to love, even with all her faults.
We’re now planning a group canoe trip, and said lost soul, “Jackie,” volunteered to design t-shirts for the occasion. She asked me for some ideas. I won’t say I’m always the most creative guy in the world, but in this case, I have to give myself credit. I came up with the perfect idea, which was not only funny and appropriate for the trip, but also touching in a very personal way to the group. I sent her the idea and didn’t give it much thought.
Fast forward a couple of months, and Jackie has just sent around a group message in our WhatsApp group with a mockup of exactly the idea I gave her, taking full credit for it. My wife was livid and felt I should tell everyone what she had done. (It hasn’t helped that everyone has been praising Jackie’s wonderful idea.) Although I was annoyed, I decided against saying anything, as it would do no one any good. My wife reluctantly agreed.
Now, however, Jackie is taking orders and shirt sizes, and planning all sorts of (mostly bad) ideas for group photos of everyone wearing the shirts. This is a bridge too far for me. I’m willing to avoid “outing” her for stealing my idea, but I won’t go so far as to actively participate in her deception. Which means everyone is going to start asking why my wife and I didn’t order the shirts. I really don’t want to make a big deal of this, but I also won’t lie. Suggestions on how to navigate this?