Dear Prudence,
My wife’s mother has mobility issues, and we had her move in with us a few months ago. It’s not working out. My mother-in-law has tried to take over the entire household. She tells us that we can’t watch certain TV shows or movies because she finds them “upsetting.” I’m not talking about a TV that’s in a common area. She doesn’t want us watching anything she doesn’t approve of, even in private.
And then there’s the food. My MIL is vegan and has declared that our entire household will be as well. I don’t care what her dietary preferences are, but as far as I’m concerned, she has no right to tell me as an adult what I can or can’t put in my mouth. She opens our mail without permission. She demands that it be lights out at no later than 10 p.m. As you can imagine, there have been numerous blow-ups between us. My wife has asked me to accommodate her mother, saying, “She just has her quirks.” SHE is living with US rent-free, and I’m not going to be treated like a 7-year-old in MY OWN HOME. Should I give my wife an ultimatum that her mother go live elsewhere or I’m done, or should I just start apartment hunting?
—Living in a House No Longer My Own