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Wedding Woes

Don't do it

Dear Prudence,

My sister-in-law’s dog, “Chester,” lives to chew or destroy things. She’s dedicated to Chester, and invests in training, enrichment, different types of toys, and tons of exercise for him, to the point that her routine with him drove off her last two boyfriends. Chester is good around kids, strangers, and other animals. But he’s a big pit mix so it’s not like he chews toys and the odd shoe—he gnawed through solid wood fencing in her backyard and ran loose in the neighborhood last year. But the final straw for her landlord was when he somehow scratched and bit his way through a locked undersink cabinet and proceeded to destroy the PVC piping. He says he’ll evict her if she doesn’t leave. I’m pretty sure he flagged her to other landlords in our area, because she makes decent money but no local rentals will take her with Chester in tow.

She asked about us as an option. My husband is pressing me to move her in until she finds something because we have a backyard and dogs of our own. We’ve had friends and relatives stay to get back on their feet before, but this is different. If Chester were a normal dog, I’d be OK with it. But he isn’t, and I don’t want to move her in when there’s no exit path for the two of them because no rentals exist that allow him. I don’t want her to be separated from her beloved dog, but I also don’t want to sacrifice my home for her to keep him. How do I work this out with my husband?

Re: Don't do it

  • This is why I wouldn't get a dog until we owned. If SIL is well off, she's going to have to find a way to make something work. 
  • Unless it's a small town, there isn't some "conspiracy" amongst landlords.  Though he certainly won't give a good reference, if called for one.  Most landlords just simply don't rent to people who own a dog breed that is prohibited on their property insurance.

    Speaking of, the first thing the LW should do is check their own property insurance.  Maybe if the H sees it's a prohibited breed for their insurance...there is a HIGH probability of that...it will change his mind.

    That is THOUSANDS of dollars in damage the SIL caused.  Has she paid the LL back in full for that?  No?  Then she isn't going to pay them back either for all the damage this dog is going to cause in their home.

    To give the SIL credit, it sounds like she's at least done everything she can to curb the dog's behavior.  But at the end of the day, it didn't work.  Though I'm not sure why she doesn't kennel the dog when she isn't able to actively watch him.

    This needs to be a HARD NO from the LW.  This dog IS going to damage their house and their belongings.  And once SIL moves in, it's unlikely she will find other housing until the dog passes away.  I understand being sympathetic, I would be also.  But that doesn't mean the LW should massively upend their life for potentially years because of her SIL's problem.

    She should look into buying her own house if she makes "decent (enough) money" to afford it.  For FHA loan eligible houses, it's a 3% down payment.  For USDA rural loans, it's a 0% down payment.  And you don't necessarily have to be that far out from a town to find eligible properties for a USDA loan.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This would be a no from me, dog.
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2
    I've read this a few times.  As a dog owner, and as a dog owner who had a demon puppy spawn who chewed on the house siding, through walls, and dug up my internet cable to chew through it...if this dog is still chewing like this as an adult, there's something wrong.  That's not normal levels of chewing.  Redirection is key and that isn't being done either.  Just b/c someone is "paying attention to their dog" doesn't mean it's the right kind of attention or helping to fix issues.

    Anyway, none of that is LW's problem and it'd be a hearty hell no from me.

    ETA:  this sounds like separation anxiety or generalized anxiety.  It's just not normal for an adult dog to still be chewing TF out of fences and such.


  • I like how sister jumped straight to conspiracy theory about her landlord instead of thinking "hey, a pit mix is probably on the 'absolute fuck no' rental list as a landlord who values having insurance."


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