Dear Prudence,
I’ve been casually seeing a guy for about two months now. He’s an all-around green flag—funny, kind, and really handsome—except for one thing.
He lives with his openly gay male best friend of about 10 years, which is pretty impressive given that we’re both in our early 20s. I guess he and his best friend trauma-bonded during high school, and it’s made them close. REALLY close. Whenever we go on dates, he keeps his phone on alert to make sure nothing bad happens to his best friend. When we’re over at my place, he shows me pictures of him and his best friend in high school. Once, he even brought up his jealousy over his best friend and his ex-boyfriend WHILE WE WERE ON A DATE. I’m also fairly sure that his best friend has feelings for him, and that he’s aware of that.
I’ve tried asking him about it, and if their friendship might get in the way if we decide to take our relationship more seriously, but he insists that he’s not gay. I’d love to be friends with him even if he decides to pursue something with his roommate, but I don’t want to get too involved if I’m always going to be a third wheel!
—Third Wheeling My Own Relationship