Dear Prudence,
When dorms closed in 2020, I was a freshman with nowhere to go. I moved in with my older sister and her new boyfriend, “Patrick.” Patrick owned a home with a spare bedroom, and it seemed to make sense. He kissed me after I’d been living there for a week, and we had an affair that lasted nearly two months. I felt horrible the whole time, for betraying my sister and for being excited that he was attracted to me, and he was my first everything. I felt so guilty and horrible and twisted that I moved out, and then he immediately ended it.
I was sad even though I had no right to be. He’s sent me late night texts over the years, but I always ignore them. He tried to kiss me last year at a family event and I acted like he was drunk and confused. I’ve done my best to stay polite and far away from both of them. I’m so ashamed whenever I see my sister, and I know I can never tell her.
She really wants a baby and she turns 33 this year, so she told him they needed to get married or end it. They’re engaged and she asked me to be a bridesmaid, but I can barely stand to be in the same room as her fiancé. How do I get through this?