Dear Prudence,
My mother has started confiding in me some very troubled details about her relationship with my father. She tells me that he has cheated, has been verbally abusive, and has been, overall, not a very good husband. The kicker here is that I’ve already known this for decades.
She carelessly wrote about my father’s infidelity in a random notebook that I found as a teenager, and it’s been a source of trauma that lingered into adulthood. Back then, I didn’t have a good relationship with my father because of it, but now we are good. I’ve managed to forget it and move on. However, this recent situation with my mother is troubling. When I told her I knew about my father, she brushed it off and continued to dish out details of his infidelity. She has recently spoken to a therapist, and she tells me about their discussions! I’ve told her once to stop involving me, but she still continues to do so. I know she needs help, but her relationship with my father has been a huge source of trauma for me that I’ve just started to let go of. Any advice around this would be extremely helpful.